Wednesday, December 21, 2011

The Love of God

I'm not sure if I'm spoiled, lucky, blessed, one or all of the above because I can truly see how the desires of my heart are being fulfilled through a loving Father in Heaven. He really has been looking out for me in ways that I really do not feel that I deserve. It really helps one's belief in God to become solidified and more concrete, at least for me.

I had decided months ago that I should stick around Provo and make the money at work which is a blessing and a half to say the least...but...we all worry about money, income, bills, rent, you name it we worry about it. I, sad to say, am not much different from the rest of the world, although sometimes I think I am. So, I decided that I'd stay and make the money save up for next semester's tuition and sacrifice in that way. When I'd vocalize my Christmas plans I'd always get a "ew, I can't believe I am staying" thought/feeling but would try to cover up the disappointment with a slightly positive remark after, "It'll be okay, i'll be busy". Ew. Who am I kidding? The Lord continued to take care of me, though.

I'd have to walk to and from every destination, being without groceries and without a car is LAME. One of the most amazing girls I have met this semester from Italy named Giulia -- has the best accent ever, mind you....well, she let me borrow her car and I've been feelin' blessed in that way as well. At least being here in town while everyone else is with their families, I get to go wherever I want when I want. I've visited: Wal*mart, Deseret Book, and Little Cesar's pizza....go me.

My lovely Mother...every time we have talked on the phone and texted for the last month has asked me to come home and I would always respond with, "Mom, I want to but I have all these shifts, it'll be impossible for them to be covered with such late notice", she said she understood and then I'd realize that I did this to myself...

Hearing Christmas songs when you won't go home is like putting salt on a slug...the reaction? Your insides come out...it just doesn't help. I'll Be Home for Christmas...*sigh* I finally realized last night driving around (with Giulia's lovely car--thank you mucho) how money is not worth it. Nothing is worth more than family during the holidays and I felt the remorse of thinking money mattered more.

So, finally something has been done, and I decided to test things out, maybe ppl could cover for me, maybe I could find a reasonably priced ticket home...AND I DID---> Do you see why I feel the love of God? I think I know what's best for me and my life only to constantly find out how wrong I am. I did not feel that I deserved to go home, I mean, I chose this path, yet Heavenly Father knows that being with my family really means more to me than I realized and through his mercy and grace helped me find the way to go home. Through kind people who will sub for me and a loving Mother who is helping me out, I have a ticket home and will make it on Christmas Eve. And, even before getting that ticket, I have felt his love and comfort by giving me the means to stay in a comfortable way....but I chose to leave :D

To all those who are having a hard time making a choice, perhaps between work and being home with your kids or an amazingly fancy job that will take you away from your kids....or if maybe you are trying to decide what is best for you, your family, your future, remember that money does buy a lot and gives security, but what really matters most are those with whom you share your love and memories. If it takes away from those important teaching moments in life, if it keeps you from building a relationship with those who matter most to you, think twice. The Spirit will help you know what is right and wrong. Here is a video that continuously popped into my mind these last few days:


I am so ready to see my Mom, make a gingerbread house and home-made Italian meatballs with my Dad, fight with my brothers, and play with our dogs-- all this so we can remember our Savior together. I love how He always brings families together. <3 Virginia, here I come...<3

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

My Telenovela of A Life

Buenas noches. (Just a heads up, the 2 videos at the end of this blog are worth watching if you'd like to laugh or judge me, you pick, just don't skip over them!).


Just the Way You Are is playing in the background as I sit at my dark wood kitchen table adorned with newspapers from the painting that occurred yesterday, and not just any painting mind you but play dough painting...my little Charlie Brown Christmas tree needs decorations and as much as I want to buy all the decorations I could with a nice theme and all, i realize that my heart is more willing than my wallet. Play dough ornaments bring back amazing memories of my childhood and our ghetto 80's made play dough decorations my brothers made before I was born and how every year that I can remember opening the tins and bins to decorate the tree, i would always come across them...nothing beats something hand-made. 


Since finals have ended life has continued to be busier than ever, except now I do not feel guilty for not making time to read, ah, the bliss of not cracking a book (not all truth but let's go with it)!


These last few days are the reason why I say that my life is truly like a telenovela. It has consisted of me getting a massage... from a male therapist when I distinctly asked for a female -->awkwardly uncomfortable and embarrassing <--, shopping all day in my pajamas, going up to Salt Lake to see the lights only to ditch that and go to studio 600 instead to dance...only to dance most of the night with a drunk man with whom I had a heart-t0-heart with about his life and his goals and future ambitions. I found out that I have a secret admirer, I have a car for the rest of the year, I became a ventriloquist and watched the beyond cheesiest movie ever made at the dollar theater with Liva today. PHEW. Did you survive that paragraph? My goodness, I don't know if I did...


(this cheerio face depicts my feelings)
I honestly want to just forget about the massage...it was a b*day treat from a friend to go to the school...it just shows how ironic my life is. She asked for a female therapist and then a few minutes later I realized her genius and went to request the same thing, only to have the lady in charge to ignore my request because Sterling approached me and the incredibly intelligent person that I am didn't voice my feelings. I spent the next 30 minutes figuring out how to de*robe and how to convince myself to relax since I put myself in the mess. I got a free water bottle, a mint, and an old man creaming my back in exchange. ewies. 


Fast-forwarding a day to Studio 600 in Salt Lake:


Dances are fun yet they never change. I blame my thirst for this experience. Standing by the wall with Sascha and Iriving I decided it was time to quench my thirst and get a drink from the water fountain about 7 steps away. As I stood straight after slumping over to drink from the arch of the water the man to my right said something pointing to the water fountain. 


"Huh?"


Charlie Brown's teacher's waa waaa voice registered and I had no idea what he said but by his body movement something happened with the water fountain. I broke it because the water didn't stop coming out. 


He said more things to me of which I didn't understand. Then I think I understood...


"Quiere bailar?" You want to dance? (I was repeating what I thought he said)


Yup--i figured out the mystery. Sure, why not. 


He reminded me of Bill Cosby because after I answered his questions, ones such as..."Where are you from"...then I'd answer: "I''m from Virginia, D.C. area"...that's when I'd get that interesting face to the right which clued me in to the idea that Alvaro wasn't quite alright upstairs. This question and answer including "the face" continued during this dance episode. 


He smelled funny and I knew he was drinking before coming to dance and when the opportunity was right and when I felt that I could be more direct without offending him I asked Alvaro if he had doing that...I got the Bill Cosby face...the answer was yes. He honestly did not scare me or frighten me, in fact he was quite the respectful man, who happened to smell like stinky and who made funny faces. 


Somehow him with all his respect decided to be quite direct and proceeded to tell me that he needed a good girl to help him quit drinking, aka ME...and that he liked the way I think and just the same 'ol lines he probably gives to every girl who he dances with that doesn't bow out early. But, I have to say that I hope our conversation was something he took to heart to change his life. A 32 year old man who's wife left him and who has an 11 year old daughter who's Daddy is a drunk and who wants to quit just doesn't know how is someone who is more than just a drunk man on the dance floor. Every person has their background and their, to them, unresolvable problems.  We talked about God, the role God has in his life and why he should make the appropriate changes in his life. He kept insisting that I give him my phone number so that we could be friends with the intention of me being his "novia"...and that's when I asked him lots of questions of why he wants to quit and for who and did all I could to help him see that a woman can't do what the Lord can, with all his abounding love and with the help of the Savior lives can really change permanently. I felt, at the end of it all, quit blessed to have been able to dance with Alvaro, I hope that he gets his act together and can be there for those who need him. I won't hear from him again but  I hope his life goes well.


changing subjects, my favorite part:


Man, so much has happened during these few days. I wanted to get into the ventriloquist story but I will just put the videos instead--they do all the talking. Liva took me to this store today that had puppets inside and ginormous stuffed animals--stuffed dinosaurs even! I couldn't help but try being a ventriloquist. Enjoy!



Me testing out the life of a ventriloquist...it is quite addicting...




                                            I convinced Liva into making a video with me...people kept coming                       near us and disturbed the video-making. I really want a puppet for Christmas. Maybe I didn't play enough as a child? :)

Sunday, November 6, 2011

On an airplane

Flying Delta.

In every movie I see, the main character (usually on a plane, or in a public place, waiting) sits next to an entreaging person of interest---usually with some attraction and curiosity involved. They strike up a conversation, are pleasantly surprised by their compatibility, and usually the rest of the movie has that to base as the foundation for the next 100 minutes.  Of course, no movie in particular comes to mind, but, they are our there.

I am left to believe that I am not the main character  in my own movie right now because...that person of interest who is supposed to be sitting next to me on the plane forgot to come today. empty seat in aisle 16! Let's be honest, if he did show up he would probably be a dark-haired "I forgot to shave for the last two weeks" greasy man or an older lady who keeps licking her finger to turn the pages in  her New York best-selling novel as she reads with the light on as I try to catch some z's. A vacant seat wins now I don't have to worry about our legs touching, or that I'll fall asleep on their shoulder. That'd be more than awkward, yet, I've  done it before.

I shouldn't have my headphones in right now...so the flight attendants say. What happens if you leave your "electronical devices" on when taking off into the atmosphere? Will my eardrums implode? Does it bring bad luck to the pilot? Or does it have to do with the mechanics of the airplane? I would like to know the reasoning or at least something about their request before I do it.

TAKING OFF

I tuned my music off--still ignorant to the action. I feel like I should have the attitude of Adam: "I know not [keeping the commandments] save the Lord asked me", accept delta aint nothin' close to bein' the Lord, so, my mind rejects the thought. 

"Think of all the beauty left in the world and be happy." -Anne Frank
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(3 days later)

I'm almost back on a plane and these days went and passed faster than I expected. The cliche experience but it holds SO much truth. 

My Dad's side of the family and my Mom's side are polar opposites yet somehow---they work. 

The sun is rising. I'm off to enjoy it. 

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Conan O'Brien vs. Jimmy Fallon

For the last 8 years I have been a Conan O'Brien fan. I stopped watching Late Night for my insane schedule and for many times for lack of a t.v. (thanks college living), but, today for the first time, I watched Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. I'm curious to know why Conan was not able to come back to late night when they decided to let Jay Leno back.


I haven't really followed the story. Basically, Conan replaced Leno when Leno "retired" leaving it to Conan who had been on deck from Leno since 1993. Because of Leno's retirement (that last what, a year?) that slot was handed over to Conan, but, for some reason unknown to me for lack of snooping, Leno came back, bumping Conan off completely and letting Fallon, who was on after Conan, to take his former 2nd slot. So, I'm confused on why Fallon even has a talk show.

I don't see how he's funny, I'm sorry to say--okay, not really that sorry. To me he looks a bit up tight and very unnatural. I'm confused by the standing ovations. What am I missing?

The only thing I liked about Fallon is that he's the only late night show host who actually bashes on Obama, it seems like the world won't speak any smack of the man, when he has been less than perfect, but let's not get political.


I miss me some good 'ol Conan O'Brien!!!

He's on TBS but we don't get that channel. I'm doomed to having Jimmy Fallon access...I refuse to watch him. I have yet to laugh once.

Enjoy the following and I pity the foo who doesn't know who Conan O'Brien is.
There is still hope for you, grasshoppa.


 Goodnight.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Cell Phone Drafts

Don't ask me where nor what I was doing when I checked my cell phone drafts where I write things that I observe on campus or I just make a list of things that happened. Okay, so some things are straight up opinions, but, here's the list for me to blog about later. I ain't got much time now to do it, so:

Most Recent to Less Recent:

*I dreamt we had a ghost watching us outside of the house. I shook his hand and to my surprise I felt it.

*Give talk Sunday Oct. 23rd from Pres Eyring's talk about Testimony (10-12 mins)

*Oct 15th: Saw my first shooting star @ age 25, Never wear this dress again--flashing experience, watched Tim and Stacey's sealing, lost 4 pills and then they appeared out of nowhere (Fishes and Loaves of Bread modern day experience), Bathroom prepping in St. George Visitor's Center bathroom, McDonald's pit stop hunger pangs, realized relationships I may have helped with God's approval, "Peruvian Pockets".

*"Be careful" referring to driving, "Watch out for the other guy" jajaja -Lady in temple 10/15

*Unseen beauty

*My thought to myself when I walked into the creamery because of conversations heard:
         OMGawsh it's scary how ppl talk about Harry Potter like it's a religious thing when they are in college.

*I'm anti Toms

*I saw Santiago on campus :)  (the man who always volunteers Saturdays at the TRC)

*Frisbee is an actual sport? Only in Utah.

*I don't understand people that walk around with headphones in, that have tall orange socks on up to their knees, and that drum noisily to their music when this should be a silent activity...when did walking on campus become a show?

*Habia una vez un perrito que se llamaba borrador. Un dia se erasco y deparecio. jajajajaj I kill me





















Thursday, October 6, 2011

Proven Wrong

I hate it when I go everywhere and I see the same person all around me. It's like everyone is cloned with the same pair of pants and the same pair of shoes. Speaking of which, from the old lady in front of me in the post office to the person sitting next to me in my History 252 class, Toms are on everyone's feet. I found myself getting extremely frustrated with this scene. I felt like everyone was trying to be everyone else and had no mental brain powers to think for themselves. I decided to investigate a bit of this Tom business. I've heard of them for years. I knew what they did, you buy a pair of shoes they give a pair away to people lacking in that. Understood. What frustrates me is seeing people doing things because it's a fad, a trend, popular. That drives me insane. People, think for yourselves!

But, I hate to admit this. I thought perhaps I converted, no, not quite yet. But, I sympathize now with Toms and see what greatness they stand for. The video was a heart strings tugger, because I know what is it for children to not have shoes. My own Mother only had one pair growing up in Peru. As I served in Peru for 18 months I associated and loved many families with children who did not have shoes either. So, this means a lot to me. I want to buy a pair so that someone without can have one.

My only hope is that people do things for the right reasons and not to be like the rest of the world. To think and decided and act with a reason behind it. I'm curious to know if I asked someone wearing Toms on campus of why they bought them if they would have a substantial reason. Please be someone with one...

changing the subject: Ab Ripper X no Yoga. We were tired. Long day. Oops.

NY version: Tree

Tree. Today is day tree (think of the Brooklyn [NY] pronunciation of the word "three", there you go). My Dad is from Brooklyn, so I grew up listening to this my whole life. Talk about the attitude, I have acquired that too, so, please don't be offended at me. (Check out the video to learn how to get your accent on, and yes, people from NY really do say what she says.)

Workout, done. Shoulders and arms is complete. We just need to do Ab Ripper X tomorrow because it got too late and we got tired. My goodness, everything hurts. This is quite the wake-up call to my long hibernating body. Poor thing. It's spring time for it. But, today it rained and called for boots and a jacket. We are in fall here in Provo, and winter is close behind. 

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

It's Better In Two's

My body started to hurt today. I felt it most walking up the stairs. I guess we can that tell my muscles are uncomfortable, which means they exist!

Today, when I did Cardio X. Jenny came over and we did it together. She is so distracting! But, man, she is my true entertainment. There is no hiding our true identities from each other, we've been through so much it's like there is no shallow conversations and there is a lot of calling each other out on things. It's the best. During our " workout session" she changed the moves and I think may have gone off in her            
monologues, I'm not sure, I was trying to focus on Tony and his horrific workout moves. All I have to say about Jenny is that she better go try out for SNL, because she would be their newest big star. Disregarding her distracting behavior, we did it, we worked out-- Juntas. :) Things are just done better in two's.                                                                         

 My body was complaining and I had no idea how to console it...so, I ignored it. But, honestly, I am happy it hurts! This gives me the idea that my body is making changes and it is waking up. So, day 2 of P90x is done. I just need to work on a bed time!


(In case the picture doesn't show it, Jenny has something up her sleeves in this picture. She's a trip and a half.)

Sunday, October 2, 2011

This Is It

No, this blog isn't about Michael Jackson...I WISH IT WAS!

I'm on my same quest to fitness...gosh, it's annoying. haha! Only because for me it's not so easy. The doctor always tells me how "disgustingly healthy" i am, yet, in my mind i want to ask, "So, why does my body not reflect that in it's appearance??" But, I will get back down to what I once was. I will not be on the summit forever, but, because I know what it is to be up top, I will forever be on a quest to be on top. (Poem reference, can't remember which poet said it.)

So, once again, the billionth time, I am starting again with more determination to drop the poundage and get back into shape. So, day one of eating right. It's Sunday so I can't workout, but, tomorrow bright and early, I'm on it! Let's try to track this. Day 1= fantastic.

Gotta think positive!


Thursday, September 22, 2011

Rebellion

For some reason rebellion to stay awake while the rest sleep is one of my many Achilles heels. I am the only girl I know who watches The Contender on her down time. Maybe I should meet more people. Maybe it is not a common recreational activity. Have you heard of this show? Yeah, so, I'm so behind the times that I catch up on past shows about 5-7 years after they come out. I would like to publicly thank you tube for all it's wonderful goodness which includes the most random yet helpful videos, clips, Disney movies, and even television series, such as this. It's about boxers from all different walks of life, some rookies, underdogs, professionals; all come from different age groups and backgrounds, and they are fighting for the chance to become The Contender, win bank, and have the opportunity to professionally progress as a force to reckon with/boxer. That could not be done in such an efficient time frame than without this honor and title.


This show was created and produced by Sylvester Stallone. If you're human and seen Rocky, it's basically a come-to-life opportunity to have anyone with the skill, heart, and drive to be in charge of their own destiny, and if that's what they are made of, then why not beat the odds of the impeding circumstances that surround them?

  If I were a guy, I'd probably be a boxer. All I know is that every time I watch an episode I want to go run around the block for 45 minutes, pull to use my dusty jump rope to exhaust my lungs, and put Vaseline all over my face as I adjust my unpurchased mouthpiece. Yes, I took it a little too far, sorry.


Today I was gone from my house for over 12 hours, yet, I did not fall asleep in one class. I really need to look into sleeping more. I run on about 4 hours of sleep a night on average. If you've read any of my previous blogs you'll know that night is my time to think and reflect. During the day it can be boring, except, I have this rebellion against naps, like it's more of a waste of time than smelling the roses. 

I put myself on a diet the other day...I believe it was Monday. So far, so good. I've put on, oh, you know, a few pounds since I moved to Utah back in the day...when I was 18. (I'm 25 so you figure out the math. Granted, don't forget I was on a mission for a while.) From my calculations, I have to loose about...hmm...give or take 40 pounds to be at the weight that I had when I first arrived to the boxy shaped state of Utah. I have to say that I am more energetic and feel so much better since I started. My plan? Eat a lot of salad. Stay away from sugar. I'm going to add lots of sleep and The Contender watching as part of my remedy. It's nice when you have the authority to act as a doctor. I trust me. That counts. 

Oh, and in case you want to be "in the know" this is the episode I'm currently on. Season 3. Enjoy!




( I suggest starting from the beginning--like any good book. Like any good t.v.-show-watcher, the first episode is where you want to be. Just sayin'.)

Saturday, July 30, 2011

While In Virginia

**wrote this one night when I was in Virginia...I had an itch to do so**



I have no idea what to put on top as my title. Why? Probably because I have been in on part 1 of my vacation for 10 days here in Virginia and within 10 days there are a plethora of topics to “blog” about. I have no idea which one I will focus on, but, hopefully we can all go away with some type of moral learned or at least feel that the time was not a complete waste, wouldn’t you say?
The last slightly interesting thing that I did before coming to bed and finally writing (yes, it has been more than 10 days since plucking away on my laptop), was watching Food Network Stars, where I watched about 6 contestants on Rachel Ray’s show pretty much selling themselves, their show, and their food. What I realized is that I do not ever want to be that, have my own cooking show, or have to sell myself to the public. Yikes. Bikes! (Movie references, please, know the movie, and be okay with movie referencing!)
I have spent my days here at home honestly the best I have in years. I am not pin-pointing why exactly but I most likely will and I have my assumptions on why that is. Flying home—as the years go on it becomes less and less dramatic. I get the routine. I used to be so incredibly scared of flying, like it was the biggest deal where when the plane took off I would become the cliché death bed repenter, praying to God to not let my plane crash, acknowledging my sins and promising that if I were to live, I would change. Okay, so, I still pray on my flights and recognize that I am far from perfect, and that if I were to crash and burn that my white t-shirt would have its share of blotches and unruly dirt stains, but, I guess the intensity of the prayer has dropped from the scale. Given the range of 1 to 10, me being a 15 before, has now gone to about a 4. I’m not exactly sure what that means or says about my character, but, as you can tell, flying has become more of second nature to me now—routine.

25 years old and I am realizing how much I need my parents. I have enjoyed the luxury of my very own queen size bed and a room with an actual door—very different from my current living quarters in Provo, Utah-- that has no door, and no heat to accompany it. What a cute couple my cold bed room makes with its deficiencies. Three is a crowd, I better get out of that relationship soon—hence why I am moving in the fall, but, continuing the epiphany. Dot. Dot. Dot…but in Virginia visiting home has its perks, no, not just in furnishing.
I have spent time with family but also with the three dogs that live in our white and blue adorned country house. Sometimes I feel like on every floor I find myself on there is a different dog to greet me. Wait, I feel that way because it’s true! I wake up in the morning to see that my brother’s pit bull is the perfect over-sized lap dog and cuddler and has snuggled up beside me during the night. Go down to eat breakfast and you’ll see our blonde dog Lady, our collie/hound mutt watching guard and looking out the side windows by the front door to make sure in the abyss of land and trees that surround our very secluded house that a trespasser not DARE to come a-knockin’. She will put up that mohawk hair of hers that always seem to present themselves when she gets into defense mechanism mode, and she will vocalize her defense until your ear drums stop drumming. On the last floor making three, depending on the time of day, you’ll find Bullet, my other brother’s beagle who seems to always be visiting us. Most likely you’ll see him with his face whitening and his age getting to him basking in a corner soaking in the rays of the yellow sunlight as his beautiful round brown eyes look into your soul pleading for a treat as his tummy hangs out, and he pants. Mom has been feeding him too much not realizing the difference in his size compared to his dog comrades requires less amounts of food. Today we discussed his protruding belly, call him a Tartaglia, and will decide to feed him less from now on. I swear, I look at all our dogs and I recognize that they have earned the last name Tartaglia. What can I say, we know how to eat and therefore will never be thin, not even our dogs. Genetics definitely have a play in this love for food somehow. (I don’t have the science down but let me Google and search a bit and I could write a very non-legit research paper or defense case.) I come from an Italian/Peruvian family, both sides know what celebrating is all about, what rich cuisine is, and are strong short people with dark hair. I got that covered.

I know you are wondering…in the country what’s the internet like? Let me just calm all quivers or questions. We have dial up. GASP. Hand covers mouth. Cringing ensues. I, on the other hand, embrace it. Guess what? My cell phone reception is so bad I can only text a few times a day and barely can get calls. I wish things were always like this. It is beyond liberation to not have to be sewn to an electronic device and to rely solely on what I remember and on the people and things around me. As I spend more and more days here I wonder what things were like “before” when people did not have these technological luxuries and debilitations or constantly having to answer to something without a brain but that has a voice—such as a ringing cell phone. You’d think this device became the human and not the tool on how it controls and bosses us humans around. Things become so much more clear and my feet slowly but efficiently become more reaffirmed on the ground, the literal earth, not the Google kind. It’s not a picture but in my mind I guess I will see it as one.
Every summer I have a favorite movie that I absolutely love and could go back to see three times. I know that statistic because if I do absolutely love a movie I saw it up until 3 times. I have the movie stubs to prove it—dating back to 1999 with The Gladiator. I walk into the dark theatre with subliminal messages telling me to buy from the concession stand and I talk back in my mind saying: Entertain me. This is why you people get paid so much; I hope they get the job done. A bit bossy, a bit dramatic yet anti-climactic but you know you do that too, perhaps in different dialogue. 2 years ago it was UP. I fell in love with that movie because I had no idea what it would entail and watching it with little preparation the entire message became more potent and I became swept away into the love story and quest. Good ‘ol Mr. Fredrickson. And, I’d like a kid like Russell, except he’ll have a Father who wants to be around.  My Mom and I intentionally found reasons to pass by the theatre and slip in an extra two times with tissues and with a tempted heart with concession goodies in hand. That made three attendances. We still adore it. Last year the movie of the summer was Toy Story 3. Adorable. I love Spanish rose-in-teeth flamenco dancing Buzz Light-year. Dancing and dancing with rhythm and passion puts any guy on the extremely attractive scale and category. Represent, Buzz! (Yes, I’m talking to a fictional character.) This year…I have a new favorite movie. I didn’t even know I would like it, and I think that makes all the difference: Captain America.

An underdog from Brooklyn—which I love—he has a heart of gold and is made of courage, he sacrifices his life for the good of a nation and of humanity. I want me one of those! What really gets me is the honor and valor of him and the people from that time period here in America. I feel like that has died out and we have a lot of people who don’t know what they are fighting for, what freedom is, and or why it is important. That is disturbing and let’s face it—unattractive.

Being home has been such a huge blessing, and has really given me time to rest and catch up not only on sleep but on what matters most to me. What really is worth living for is my family and learning to keep my word. There is nothing better than getting reconnected with those whom you are turning into, and I can proudly say, just like in the end of Spanglish…I am my Mother’s daughter. I am my Father’s daughter, and I am proud to be what I am. People need to stop wishing to be what they are not and realize that there is pride in representing your family and creed, literally and spiritually.


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Travel Bug

I'll admit it--since before I can remember my dream list always had this as it's number one, to go amongst the Neapolitan blood and run, underneath the  fluffy clouds that look like an Italian pastry, through a field of sunflowers. Sitting on a gondola enjoying the water and the deep sea of Venice was never on my list, although, I'm thinking about adding it on now, but if it is never realized my feelings won't be hurt.  Now, at an age where I could put on my tourist hat would be prime, I am starting to listen more to the inner me that keeps bringing up the need to go beyond the ridges of the United States to see what else the good world has to offer. 

My last year at BYU and I will be taking many a Spanish class--go me, right?( I better, it's my major.) And, I decided to spice up life by upgrading the romance language abilities and tip-toeing into Italian. It's time to get in touch with my roots. My last name is Tartaglia--forget about it, right? (only some of you will understand that--NY/Italian humor.)
Everyday contributes to the epiphany that could change one's life. The other day I realized that I am truly responsible for making my dreams come true. The Lord gives the opportunities, and we need to make them ourselves with the free choice that he deems us responsible for. Hoping and wishing is many a splendid thing but hard work and determination contribute greatly to the realization of any dream or any goal.

Within this past week more and more thoughts have crept into my mind and made themselves more than comfortable. I was too busy to notice and after a while I realized that my mind there was seated on my mental sofa, with their feet up and watching telenovelas,  a more than welcome guest of the travel bug. What better thing to do than to want to go see what else is out there. There seems to be limitations when one stays in the same place for too long. No one should remain too comfortable for too long, that's where growing stops and complacency enters in .

I will know Italian, and I would say my Spanish is comprehensible And thanks Mom and Dad for the English. Why not go and travel to talk to people with the languages I'm learning? Is that not the point? Alas, I am too poor to realize my dreams irrationally, thank goodness, right? I would blow all my saving tomorrow if I had any, but, this is where dreams and goals and self-control take their toll. 

Peru, Argentina, Chile, Italy, Spain, France--I need a money tree, OR, I need to learn to save efficiently. But, I have to say that things here in Provo are looking rather limited and I am ansy for a change. The way I perceive the same things lets me know that my time here is running out like the sand cascading out of an hour glass. It's me versus the time I have left. I'll throw in a few minutes to dream where I'll go when my hour glass has all the sand adorning it's bottom.









Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Disney Pandora and Phonetics

Try to picture a black trashcan filled with tissues...used of course. Score! One more has been shot in. My aim has not been so consistent all day until that last one.

Being sick is worth it when you are at home and your Mom can take care of you, when you don't have finals or work...that or any real responsibilities. Home is in Virginia.

But, right now, life is not too bad because I have Pandora and Disney songs keeping my mind occupied--You'll Be In My Heart...ahhh...memories of 1999.

Phonetics...test...why do you do this to me? It boggles my puny mind that God has all understanding. I'm so tip of the iceberg it's not even funny....

Thanks Pandora...you make me feel better by distracting me:



Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Critic

When I was a kid I thought that I should truly consider being a movie critic. I would go to the movies constantly, my Mom--the movie goer as she was and still is-- would always bring her sidekicks with her: mainly me, as she escaped the world with the dim lights, popcorn, and, if the movie was good, an escape into a different realm. When you forget about life for a bit then you know the movie was a good one.


I feel like my critical inclinations have followed me into my latter years. I walk around campus and things pop into my mind. As you can tell by the title of my blog, they are on occasion--critical. Let's define my type of critical as the kind that dictionary.com describes as: of essential importance. So, if my drift isn't caught, this blog and the things written are of essential importance. :D


I want to appoint myself to a patrol position: to the modesty police. Yes, I made up that title. No, I'm not part of the police force, nor will I ever be. 


I get opinionated about such things when I get interviewed for an ecclesiastical endorsement to go to the University in which I attend, which includes signing an Honor Code. The Honor Code consists in giving your word and your signature to follow and obey certain principles of the gospel, one of which is MODESTY. 


Modesty --"Modesty is an attitude of propriety and decency in dress, grooming, language, and behavior. If we are modest, we do not draw undue attention to ourselves. Instead, we seek to “glorify God in [our] body, and in [our] spirit” (1 Corinthians 6:20; see also 1 Corinthians 6:19)."


What is great is being taught details in which modesty can be followed as in wearing skirts,shorts, etc that cover the legs up til the knee and from not wearing cut off shirts but to have a sleeve. Basically: no short skirts no sleeveless shirts. Yes, we voluntarily sign up for this.This is part of modesty, but we do it because we respect our bodies and we know that Heavenly Father wants us to care for ourselves and have that respect for what He has given us. Also, to be obedient to his rules.  I could go on but, let's get to the rest, shall we?


Wednesday.5:15 p.m. There I was. In a glass building. Yes, people were looking in...I was in the library waiting there with Andrea for anyone who wanted to come find us to go watch the Ten Commandments. We were standing there and talking and laughing and people watching. (No, the laughing did not come from the people watching, or so I say. :) ) But, this was probably the 6th time of the day that I saw a girl walking with a beautiful outfit on and she seemed like a nice gal but, her skirt was very short. I really wanted to walk up to her and say, "Hey, how you doin'? You know what, that skirt is immodest (very short).Do you want to go home and change and then come back? Awesome."


Who enforces the honor code? Is it enforced? Are the consequences dispersed in personal blessing form--or the lack thereof? 


I'm just wondering how things work on campus.


 Let's not bottle up our feelings.



If there is a BYU Modesty Police I'd like to meet them. If they need volunteers, I have a busy schedule, but, I have plenty of time to speak up as I walk to and from work, campus, and home.

Not a prob.


I won't go into my feelings about the blue hair I see...nope...not today.









Tuesday, March 22, 2011

A Day of Ephiphanies

Today I found myself re-evaluating my life. I have no conclusion for the swarm of ideas that entered into my mind but I am brainstorming.

What are your thoughts about dreams? Perhaps my day of reflection came from how I woke up. I never say I had a nightmare, but I will say that I had a bad dream. One decision affected my entire happiness or lack thereof.

I saw myself in the temple kneeling at the altar about to be sealed for time and all eternity to a man. I did not know who he was, I did not see a face--which is already sort of freaky but makes sense since I'm not dating anyone. An idea crossed my mind of who it was but it entered and left as ideas usually do. As I dreamt I felt as thought it was real and then at other moments I felt like I was watching, standing behind myself, in the very same room. I do not recall the exact words that were spoken, but, I remember my feelings. There came a moment where I could exercise my agency and make it known that I changed my mind, that "no" I do not want this...and the feeling reconfirmed itself and it said, "Diana, no, this is not right". For a second I thought about it...and then I told myself that it would be okay, and I ignored my feeling. The second after I affirmatively consented to this eternal union and after the ceremony was over I knew with 100% surety that I had made the biggest mistake of my existence and did not know if there was something I could do to change what occurred.

From that point of my dream on it went through more emotions and scenarios but the bottom line is that I woke up grateful I am not close to that kind of decision, but, do hope that when that time to marry becomes a reality that I will have no doubts or such feelings and that I will feel nothing but peace and hope in the decision made.

Today I have been analyzing my life and had some interesting experiences. I watched the you tube videos on my wall about the man who truly experienced what we watched in the movie The Pursuit of Happyness. He made me re-evaluate myself because during his darkest days he constantly asked himself where he was going to be and where he was going. Today I've been thinking about what I want for myself. I listened to Elder Christoffersen's talk, he is an apostle of God, and his talk is called, Living a Consecrated Life. Life is short and we given the gift of time and the ability to use it how we will but we will be held accountable for how we use it. I started to think, What are you going to do with your life? How are you going to do it? How are you going to get there?

I know the purpose of life and the eternal perspective because my Heavenly Father made it known to me through his church--The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, but, what I refer to as in how I will live my life is about the quality of my earthly existence and trying to make sure and reflecting how I will use the time the Lord gives me on this earth until I will be judged for my works to be able to live with him someday. I want to use the time the Lord gives me well and not waste it and I do not want to look back and regret not building my talents and not using my time well. Opportunities are out there but so many loose them.

There are things I will be doing to give more of myself to a better cause. Here are my conclusions up 'til now:

-Start working on a writing project. I love to write. I have had dreams where I have written a book and maybe that's what I need to do, but, for now, I will write a biography of a woman that I truly look up to and admire. Her life has been character building and admirable and I know that there are not many people like her. It is my Mom.

- I need to volunteer somewhere. I have 3 options in mind and I am working toward figuring out where I will be giving my time

I will be working full-time this summer all I know that I need to do is look beyond myself and find and do what is required of me.

There are tons of other things but I need to think more about them. I'm pretty exhausted. I'm blogged out.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Pizza Hut & Spider Bites

Something is seriously wrong with me, the world, with what spiders are dining on OR D. all of the above because in less than a week I have gotten unwanted decorations on both of my arms.

With barely any sleep and with my eye lids extra droopy I went to work.I remember being taught by three Elders: Elder Preece, Elder Jones, and Elder Smith this morning. They were teaching me about the atonement of Jesus Christ and how with God anything is possible. I remember reaching and scratching my elbow and thinking...that feels funny...but then went back trying to focus on my task at hand. My day has been super busy. After clocking out I set up my laptop a few doors down from where I teach to have a room to take an online quiz...which i found out was cancelled! Time to go home...

Walking home and texting "Gina" (one of my best friends and I call each other the same name--a story will explain it in the near future). We met up at home, chatted, and planned on going out to eat.

Pizza Hut and Dairy Queen are not very far from my apartment so we went and took Jeff ("Gino") along with us. As we were waiting in line in Dairly Queen while our Pizza Hut pizza was making it's way towards our estomagos by it's preparation. While we were waiting we decided to all get a cone-- dipped of course (just say no to butterscotch, it's not real!). That's when Gina noticed the grossness of my elbow. I felt it, looked at it, and internalized it.  Questioning myself...what is seriously wrong with me? Why do these things get attracted to me? I am a spider magnet. Joy. They find me while i sleep and then stick their fangs into my defenseless elbow and arm. Should I be scared to go to bed tonight? What if I wake up and my face has a giant hive on it? Oh goodness...

...maybe I have elephantitis, or, lepracy? -______-

guestimated size: a deformed baseball
to be continued....

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

A Surprise Convo


~ I was walking to school one freezing cold morning and I saw this aged man running quite far off behind me. My first thoughts were, "You crazy old man, you have more discipline and drive than I do and I am half your age. I hope you don't fall. I turned my head back toward the direction I was going and fiddling with my headphones as to untangle them to put them in my cold ears, the runner caught up with me. I knew that because he spoke saying:

"Do you want good news?"
Fighting with myself since I prefer not to speak in the morning due to tiredness I forced out my polite response:
"Of course," with which he replied:
"There is only 49 days left until spring!"
Many thoughts flowed into my mind such as: he really must be counting down! and Maybe I look like I really need to know this with my marshmallow snow-beast coat on and a WHO IS THIS GUY? :)
"That is good news." PAUSE
He kept running by me and i closed the conversation with "Thank you", yes, very profound of me.

I don't think any runner can top that very precise informational conversation with a pedestrian.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I have 10 minutes

More than twice this year I've seen people carelessly walking around campus with a giant wad of toilet paper in one of their nostrils. Runny nose? I think that would be a horrific experience to be caught with anything protruding from my face besides my nose itself--attached my most important limb in all it's glory. I will admit, that right now I feel very much tempted to conform to their grossness because there is an unhealthy amount of liquid seeping from my nasal cavity. I hate being sick.

I've had two "epiphanies" this week:

"Does you Mother know you're dressed like that?"

You can interpret that one as you will--I thought that when I saw someone walking in a t-shirt and shorts when it's ridiculously cold outside--winter--snowy mountains...but immodesty on campus bugs me too.

and

"How is it possible that people get paid to play computer games?"

 I was walking to drop off a paper and saw tutors just playing games on their computers in the JKB. If I knew more about video games I'd know the name but they were probably making an army to go kill someone. I'm sure there could be something more productive to do. Am I judging? Yes. Are you judging me? Probably.

I could lie but it's not that kind of blog.

Friday, January 21, 2011

A Dream About Quarters







Waking up in the morning like I had been out and about is not exactly what I was going for when closed my eyes last night. It feels like a dream--wait it was a dream. Sometimes I feel guilty when i wake up after having strange memories of something that I wondered was real or not... like I should be able to know where I had been for the last few hours of my life but could not tell reality from surrealism. My body was in my room but last night my mind had been outside during mid-day walking on the sidewalk on 9th. east going south. As I was walking along I saw a quater.


( I know, it's not a quater. Google pics only can answer so many pleas)

No one should get overly excited, but I did.  With delight in my step I picked up a quater. My eye caught hold of another--really? Another one? Not complaining. I picked it up. Low and behold, as I kept continuing forward I kept finding more of them. They were multiplying and i started to be grateful for math. What I would find were quarters evenly dispersed-- waiting for me. As I came across them it was automatic to pick them and while doing so wondered who was watching and who had "dropped" them here.


As I kid whenever I would find a penny I would scream, sort of obnoxiously, "MINE!" and run to grab it. It was so bad even my family was aware that I was overly obsessed with finding coins on the ground. My brothers, as loving as they are (note the sarcasms?), planted a penny on the carpet in our living room. I was probably doing math problems my Mom gave me as homework (during summer vacation mind you) when my brother Phillip said, "Oh, look, there's a penny right here. I wonder who's it is?"--yep, he said that nonchalantly to himself...I should have known. I screamed, just like the naive and inoccent 8 year old that I was the four letter word: "MINE!". He laughed a while and then said, "Diana, we put that there." The fact that he said we meant that it was a conspiracy three brothers versus one sister. I probably got smug and stuck in it my pocket. I made my own rules as a kid...i chose not to believe but made the mental note: Don't listen to your brothers. Annnnd I stopped getting overly excited about a finding.


Was my subconscious getting to me? Is it from my Human Development class where I'm learning about Fraud and how the subconscious can withhold certain "truths"? If that is the case, then my eduction is paying off--I didn't realize I was learning anything yet and it's been 3 weeks. Woody Allen is right. 80 percent of success really is showing up.


i bent down and collected 2 quarters, then 3, and this process continued on as I with disbelief started to question the wealth I was receiving from the shower of quarters under my feet. Near the end of my quest I was led to a pile of quarters and a thrown and lonely leather wallet who laid upside down yet opened revealing no bills, and by the looks of it had lost it's owner. I picked it up. Distraught that all these silver circles of importance had an owner and was resolved to returning them, I reflected back to my disbelief that I knew that my find had been too good to be true.


When I saw the picture on the I.D. I wondered how this could be. I knew the owner. It was my Pearl of Great Price religion teacher from Winter 2009. DREAM. But, in reality, He always reminded me of a cartoon character, with his white hair and round body--he'd throw his hands in the air when he was tickled--intellectually. 


I think at the end I found him, and he started lecturing me. I woke up how my dream ended...slightly disappointed.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Slipped

Like a foot to the ice
and the fall to the ground
what was once in my mind
escaped

Poem writing isn't my forte. I had a profound thought a few minutes ago and then it slipped me and my mind. It has been one of my longest days and that is the first of many, and I am questioning the next four months of my life....good thing Elder D. Todd Christofferson came to BYU campus and spoke to all the world and single adults last night. What would I ever do without an apostle of Jesus Christ in my life? Not to mention the prophet. He gave wonderful counsel and of that counsel what sticks out in my mind is when he said, and I am paraphrasing...when you want to give up, just hang on. I don't plan on giving up...but just from being physically tired, it can turn the picture grey.