Between the Eyes

This has been what seems like the laziest day of my life and hopefully will be the last for a while. Thanks a lot stressful flying for catching up with me and making me feel like poop. However, this gives me a chance to put on virtual paper what has been on my mind for the last few weeks.

Besides stress creating the world's most vicious zit between my eye brows, during the last few weeks lessons have metaphorically hit me hard between the eyes, and I don't know if I really have a conclusion regarding all the thoughts that have come and gone from my Dori-mind.

As much as I want people to be judged for who they are, and as much as I want to be judged by who I am, other factors always out-do the ones that I find truly matter most. All the girlfriends I talk to about get on my case about this, however, I still remain unconvinced that I am wrong.

The last thing I want to sound like would be associated with a bitter old lady or what Tony Horton says, a broken record, however, I am still waiting to be proved wrong, and my seemingly bitter old lady record might just play until then.

Here it is: I find that I live in a shallow place...

And I'm not referring to shade here. 

That is a generalization, and not everyone is like that, however, I find that the majority of people I meet, maybe even I, fall under this category: lacking depth; superficial.



As much as I know this it is not true, I find that here beauty is all too often and constantly defined to women subconsciously and evidently by example after example by a certain size rather than how someone makes you feel and the character that they have, at least in this culture. It's exhausting. I say that because of the absolutely beautiful friends that I have that go unnoticed and also by my personal experience of "not measuring up" (there's a pun for you). 

What a contrast from the two other Americas: Central and South.

From serving a mission in Peru, to traveling to Colombia, and now from going to and coming from Guatemala, what I've learned is that people do not identify themselves they way we do here in the good 'ol U.S. of A.  Here, everything seems to be identified by how close we emulate this generation's idea of "perfection",  to the brands we buy, labels, music, hairstyles you name it, we associate what is "cool" by the exterior more than the interior. I don't speak for everyone, but from my experience living in the small town of Provo, I have continuously witnessed value being based on a first glance than long-lasting good character in the dating world. 

I'm not exactly sure how to explain it. Maybe it's my age. When I was younger how I identified a man as handsome was if he measured up to being a "hottie bo bottie". Of course, with time and a change of perspective, physical attraction has become the cream cheese icing on the vanilla cake--a pretty face won't win this corazon, nor does it give enough of a reason to date someone, there has to be more. 

 By my observations, I see guys taking out girls who fit their trophy wife model instead of a deeper beauty, or, maybe I'm wrong and need to get new glasses? Maybe.

 After being in Guatemala helping in doctor visits, I came across women who had a list of problems and issues but who were rich in love and family. They had stretch marks along their bellies and perhaps were not as well kept as others, yet, this did not prevent their beauty from being seen or from their progression.

Why do we complicate life and love here? 

I would invite all men everywhere, like my extremely amazingly funny friend Jenny, to ask girls out and be men, but not only that, but not to categorize beauty by what standards that the media gives or even our friends would give. There are beautiful girls that have so much to offer, but it takes a special kind of a man to truly recognize it and value it. Sometimes I wonder if that kind of man exists. 

On a personal note, I have put on about 50 pounds since my first semester at BYU, and I can guarantee that when I lose the weight, people will treat me differently, and I do not look forward to that day because I will be the same person then that I am now and recognizing the difference in treatment will only shine the light on them than on me. True quality people will be able to recognize true beauty as the people of Guatemala are able to do, seeing past the exterior and looking into the interior. 

 So, conclusion? 

I would like the definition of beautiful:

beau·ty  

/ˈbyo͞otē/

Noun A combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, esp. the sight. A combination of qualities that pleases the intellect or moral sense,

 to put into practice--apply it in real life, the world would be a more peaceful place.

What hit me between the eyes? 

There are different types of beauty. To me, the best beauty is hidden.  As much as I complain of not being credited for being beautiful in an obvious way, when the stars align, the right guy will remind me of Melvin Uvall from the Oscar Winning move, As Good As It Gets, in what he says to the woman he loves with this:





[to Carol Connelly] 

"I might be the only person on the face of the Earth that knows you're the greatest woman on Earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, Spence (her son). And in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food and clear their tables, and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good about me."

Here's to choosing to see beauty in more than a one-dimensional prism, not only romantically, but prospectively.