My Last Moments With My One True Love

(December 26/27th, 2013)

It’s weird, I know, but my dog was my one true love; that and hot sauce. But, my dog was WAY above hot sauce. December 26^th, 2013 I was up late in my bed searching for jobs on my phone on a winter night in Madison, Virginia. I had moved home with the intent of ditching the Utah scene and getting back to my east coast roots. All I found there were dead ends, and a huge feeling of regression, distractions, trials, and temptations. The only true source of happiness I had was found in watching my rambunctious puppy play and grow. I was never used to a side-kick yet he became mine. He was the Robin to my Batman and no matter how much I thought I didn’t need anyone—I needed him. 

So, there I was late at night, trying to find a full-time job to go along with my 4-year degree, sick of the retail and part-time life. I barely scrapped by every paycheck and more than a few times I had thought about a move back to UT where my friends were. I had no doubt I could more easily find a job there, yet, I couldn’t bring myself to leave. Mateo had 10 acres of land to roam on. Why would I take him from that? It was my responsibility to give him the best doggy-life, you know, EVER, and to my irrational mind, that would be the best place for him. We tried the small apartment in Provo life, and it didn’t go over well. He hated it. We kind of had a telepathic thing going on. 

While I was scrolling through job descriptions, I found one to apply for. The house, dark and quiet, started to make a presence known. I heard footsteps coming down the hall. I heard my door-handle jitter. As I sat up in my bed and turned on my book-light, my eyes were fixated on what could be behind my door. Sometimes Mateo slept in my Parent’s bedroom, and I didn’t mind. He was a free-spirit. The door opened slowly, and I saw a tiny creature with his ears pushed back, eyes squinted, and it was as though he was as happy to see me as I him. His tail fluttered back and forth, as did my heart. Mateo took a leap onto the bed and came to cuddle with me. He had never found his way toward me during the night like that. How was I to know this would be our last night together. 

He curled up after circling by my feet a few times and got comfortable. I smiled. Deciding that he was in my domain and he wouldn’t mind, I slowly drug him toward me. There he lay limp on his side. He let me so I gave him a big hug and just held him close to my chest, hugging him and kissing him. I savored the moment. He was like my little baby. I remember the day I picked him from the back of a black SUV at a gas station in  Guatemala City. 

The dog-breeder opened his trunk and I felt as though I was part of an illegal transaction. Wondering if anything good could come from this type of situation, there my eyes beheld two of the most gorgeous male beagle puppies. Mateo was the one with white strip going down his face. He was also the one who pounced on me right away and it was as though he said, over and over again, “Hi! Hi!,” with some licks and jumping on me, I thought I heard him say, “Pick me! Pick me!” he basically guilt-tripped me into picking him. I guess you could cheesily say he picked me. But literally, he did.  His brother found a spot to the back of the trunk and licked his paws. How could I pick a nonchalant dog over my attentive Mateo? I had me a new pooch. Our adventures were not exclusive to his : airports travels, pooping and peeing in homes (him, not me, and me being overly embarrassed for his primitive behavior), road trips together, and trick-learning in two language. I was there to give him his first walk outside, and I was there the first time he lifted his let go pee. I had my very own dog-baby.

 There, back in Virginia, in the comfort of my down blanket, pillows, and a sweet visit, I kept snuggling my baby. It felt slightly nostalgic, and we fell asleep content as ever. 

The night went by in a flash and soon I was up to get ready for work.  With no time for much, I started to get ready for my shift and Mateo followed me. This was his classic act, yet it felt extremely loving and extremely special. But, I had to get to the bathroom and get washed up. He  waited for me outside of my bathroom door as I showered. He was there when I opened it and slept in the hall as I left the door open to finish up in there. He followed me to my room and made my bed his home as I put my make-up on. He followed me all the way to the door to see me off when I would see him for the last time. I said my “good-byes” and told him I would see him later. I’m still waiting for the later. 

  

He was hit by a car while let out while I was working. To my surprise, he was perfectly intact, perfectly beautiful, even without his vivacious spirit to give life to his body.

On his one year anniversary of having adventures without me, I can honestly say I have zero regrets with this lad. I always made time to hang out. Maybe he still makes his late night visits to be at the foot of my bed, I’m just not staying up late enough to catch him. 

The Big Apple--Day 1: Cheers to Single-hood

On my first connecting flight, the unthinkable happened. The heavens aligned the far distant stars to sit me next to the opposite type of man than I am used to being assigned with. The reoccurring thought whenever I fly is that maybe, just maybe, I'll be seated next to the ,"man of my dreams", on a forever long flight. But, like Lysol, 99.9% of the time, that doesn't happen. This is what usually does:
A big, burly fellow with b.o. and unhealthy snoring problems is my undesired copilot, and somehow I manage to wake up to my head on his shoulder, followed by my perfuse apologies and bug eyes. But, TODAY, today my friends, was different!

Seat 16 B. I sat in it. Seat 16 A sat a brunette, blue-eyes, kind-faced gentlemen with slight facial hair, and the highly-noted quality of not being attached to an electronic device. A rarity! Instead, his hands and attention were clutched to a newspaper.

I blinked my eyes and a few hours had slipped away. During that time  my mind drifted into a domain of unconsciousness. Gathering my wits and takin a glance out the window, there still sat my out-of-the-ordinary neighbor. Now, he was working on a crossword puzzle. That tickled my fancy. My mind thought of how nice it was to see qualities I like in a fellow. My observations were still surface, yet I thought that maybe, just maybe this was the hoped for situation I've always wondered about...is this a seat placement meant to be? When all of a sudden...
the cumulonimbus clouds that surrounded the plane parted, the sunlight streamed through into the window and onto the bright, shiny, blinding glare to my left.

The ring on his finger oddly made it's presence known.

Married.
They always are.

Until it all makes sense, cheers to being single!

**Side-note: New York is amazing.I think in my veins flows the blood of a future New York resident!**

Hasta mañana for Day 2.

TEN REASONS TO BE GRATEFUL (According to Me) #2014

Preface

 

It’s Thanksgiving day of 2014. I have a fake fire place roaring, a Hallmark movie on in the background, pie in my belly (and on the counter which is only a dangerously accessible location)…and, cue dramatically intense music, it has dawned on me. Christmas music will start full throttle in the morning. A second thing has dawned on me…I won’t feel guilty or self-conscious as its supporter.  But, there is a truth to all things and that is every year seems to be so incredibly different than the one prior. And, is it just me or has anyone asked themselves, WHERE HAS TIME GONE? 

My life is a big blur currently. 
Maybe I was the one abducted by aliens as a small child. You can call me Star Lord.

O_o Anyway. 

Before Thanksgiving is over and we jump on an entirely different band wagon for something to celebrate (Christmas: if it wasn’t about Jesus more celebrating would totally be an overkill), I figured the three people that read my blog should know about the things/persons I am most grateful for. Granted, the ones who will read this are probably in for a treat since I may be writing about them, but, that just gave them a higher rank to make it in my blog. Maybe next year, it’ll be you…if you follow and read my nonsensical blogs, chello! (Ahem, that's the key to life.) 

So, brace yourself for a list of things I’m grateful for and people I am grateful for. It’s not just about the turkey, people. #gobblegobble

Diana + Thankful for = the Following:

(Pictures Sometimes Included)

     1.      Pockets – when you reach your hand into your pocket and find a stub to a movie you actually felt the 2 hours you spent watching was worth it EQUALS a movie stub you are happy to save. #thankspocket

     2.      Dogs – just seeing them makes me want to own a dog farm OR take a road trip and save a dog from every pound I come across. #ItCouldHappen.

     3.      Toothbrush & Toothpaste –could you imagine life with dragon breath? #grody

     4.      Good Books—movies are fine and dandy but sometimes your eyes need some exercise. #IcanSeeItsaMiracle

     5.      Vehicles—when I drive home from work I can’t help but look at the lovely mountains that adorn the Utah landscape. Then, I imagine having to go across those peaks by foot pushing a hand cart. Thanks, Pioneers, for paving the way. They were true heroes, hand(s) (carts) down. #PunFail #iOnlyWalkWheniWantTo

     6.      Life In Color—by that I mostly mean that we can pick and choose how we see life, and live it. I, personally, like to go at it by the sound/beat of my own drum…throw some color or spice in life. I literally do that by how I dress, the order I eat my food in (dessert first is never bad), going against fads. #BeUhRebel

A Gem In Yellow (Mom:Right)

    

     7 .      Moms—they really are the cream of the crop. My Madre is the best example to me, even when we butt heads, I know she is right in the end and I will come to my senses later. When I do…#IseeTheLight And, she still is willing to make her baby girl lunch when Baby Girl stopped needing a packed lunch 20 years ago. Unconditional love. They got it down. #MomsRule

"The Ginas" BFF's4Life

    

     8.      Best Friends—they let you vent to them about anything. They won’t judge you even when you know you’re being ridiculous, they let you say your piece, ask questions, and won’t try to solve your problems, but just let you think it out (mostly meaning out loud), and are a true support. Gina, many thanks to you for all our venting sessions. #GodBlessBFFS

     9.      Vacations—sometimes (meaning always) getting away from the mundane brings a brighter and better perspective to your current situation. #InspirationThroughAVacation

He Lives

    

     10.  Faith—whatever faith it is you have, having faith in God helps me keep my act together.  It helps me to not try to bring justice on my own, but to realize that what I need to worry about is what God thinks of me, and if how I live my life reflects the person I want to emulate. There is a lot of nonsense in the world. There is a lot of meanness. There is a lot of unnecessary pain. What brings hope to all these situations (to me and) to many others who walk this life is a belief in a Man who did not have much but who’s example and impact is still being talked about. It is Him who get people through the hardest of times without becoming bitter. #WiseMenStillBelieve

Elvis Is Alive

Wal*mart has a bad reputation, but for poor folk like me, it's almost like church--the place I go at least once a week. 

I had such a visit this past week. When I realized how unproductive eating out had been to my concept of "saving money", and how much lower my funds would only get by keeping that up, I made the all-too-necessary pit stop at Wolly World. 

11 p.m. 

The only good and decent time to shop.

Have you ever walked down the pet isle and noticed these ridiculously miniature Tupperware-like containers? They are the ones filled with what seems to be 1/8 of water from a water bottle with a small, floating, scaly amphibian inside? Well, remember, beggars can't be choosers so Walmart fish are extra ghetto, for beggars like me. The water of these amphibious beta fish were a deep opaque and my heart frowned at the sight of them. All 8 of them. I am a sucker for living things, humans especially.

As I started to give each of these poorly treated beta fish some attention for perhaps the first time in their lives thinking, "Well, they don't seem like they will last long. I wonder if I will be the first and last to even give them a glance," I noticed an especially sickly looking fish...he was quite the underdog. Did I mention I am also a sucker for underdogs? 

I am.

Way in the back of the row on the back of shelf I found a crimson red beta fish, it's fins torn and broken, the water he existed in being brown, and I wondered if I could recognize a dead fish when I saw one. It's gills contracted and he moved. That was when I decided to become a fish owner. I couldn't leave seeing him exist in the muck of a cheap container and make it this far to die like that.

Picking out a big home for him, rocks, and a moon rock for him to "live" in, I shuffled my all-star pet into my cart to finish my grocery shopping--kinda what I went there for in the first place. To wrap up my sporadic beginning of an outing by buying a not on my list beta fish, I decided to stop by the lesser looked at cd's, in honor of my Mom, who is notorious for checking out old music, buying them, and listening to them...on repeat.

I am now my Mother, in case you wanted to know.

Elvis Presley, Love Me Tender, being on the list of songs on the cd in hand sold me. I need some self control. Hand-carrying my fish to my car, after putting groceries away, I inserted my classic disc, adjusted my fish in my right hand and drove away steering the wheel in my left. Pondering names, it became obvious. This fish was a fighter. He made it to the shelves of Walmart from some far off land and didn't die in the process. He's basically Nemo and needs a big, King-like name.

So, isn't it obvious?

Elvis lives.

The Do's & Don't In Finding Love

Cleaning really has it's perks. I found my old moleskin notebook with a blog draft I wrote back in January of 2013. Apparanlty, I had been pondering the do's and don'ts in finding love by my lack of good experiences, and truly, not much has differed over a year later. This is verbatim from my notebook, for your pleasure.     (sorry the format is poopy near the end i have no enter button to make it purdy.)

The New Year greeted me with more irony than hope. The irony can be flattering or mood changing...yet all I see on Facebook are shy attempts of literacy genius, cries for help, and New Years Resolutions. Instead of me complaining like Alanis Morissette so articulately and vocally , (mainly because I can't sing), I've decided to use my ridiculous encounters will artificial love to help anyone out there during the young New Year season. Let's try to learn from the past, shall we?!

1. What Not to Tell Single People: "I don't get why you're single; you're so awesome!!" If you really think so, then, date me, fool!

2. Take Initiative--Avoid Small Talk That Will Take You Both No Where: This is mainly for random encounters. If you enjoyed talking to me for 20 minutes of my precious life and pushed back my schedule--do everyone a favor--and get a # and ask me out, ask us out. I aint doin' it, I be a lady! Forget the 21st century. Be a man. Take initiative.

3. Keep Facebook Happy and Friendly--What does that mean? Well, ask us out via a phone call, even a text if you must (phone calls are better). Facebook chat is the biggest cop out. EVER.

4. Love Confessions Are Off Limits If You Are Barely Acquaintances: Save yourself some face. Infatuation can be unhealthy. You know, girls don't poop flowers and fart fragrances! Keep your cool.

5. Blind Date Memo: Don't push the boundary, no matter how well you get along. Don't ever tell the girl you are dancing with that you are NOT staring at her chest. That def didn't make me want sit the rest of the dance/date out. Nope. Not at all. -____-

6. If the Same Relationship Failed Before, It Will Fail Again: (There are exceptions but very few). If you broke up with someone for a very good reason once...or if the relationship is over and you are grateful in the long-run, don't be weak to repeat it. Whether you or the other wanting to "try again", just remember your youth and how you learned to, just say no.    

 7. Be a Go-Getter: So, a friend of a friend catches your eye? Wonderful! Great! Fantastic! Hand Stands! He/she can bring this together but after that--it's all on YOU. Be a go-getter. The window of opportunity is only open for so long...and if you keep relying on your wingman/woman, the girl will think you aren't efficient and don't have real interest. Don't be shy. Take the opportunity!

 

 8. Gay Friends Make You Feel Beautiful: Get some. It's that simple.

9. Foreigners: I have nothing against foreigners. I'm half foreign...meaning my Mom is not from this country, has an accent, is of color, speaks a diff language, you get it. So, don't take too much offense. I hate to say it but American girls are what Hispanics call, "fria". We worry about the reason behind your rush to profess your love. Take things slow...let us see how we feel. It's a cultural thing. If not--do not expect us to respond the way you do.

10. Cat-Calls? A BIG-NO-NO: We are ladies. If you want a cat, go to your local animal shelter and save a life, chump.                                                     

                                                               

11.Dating? Engaged? Have friends! Go out! Enjoy life! BUT, be cautious. If you start to have feelings for someone else, re-evaluate your choices. It's not too late, but, don't expect things to get better by ignoring them.                                                                                                                       

12. If You Are Married:  Be confident in your marriage and don't put your single/unmarried friends in awkward situations. Don't text old flames, "Hey, how are you?" and expect them to happily chat it up. It makes us uncomfortable. And, it can turn your spouse psycho, writing your friends hate messages thinking you're a cheater. Just think before you wish you were single again. Remember, you already found the love of your life! And, if a divorce is in the midst? Get things in order, then peruse.