Miracles, do they really exist?
When we try to emulate the Savior, Yes--yes they do.
I know it, but sometimes I have to remind myself to believe it.
Exploring. Alone. Risk.
I like that. I went exploring a snowy Saturday morning and walked back toward my hotel that same afternoon, and it just so happened that my hotel was on 5th Avenue, infamous for its' high end names of clothes and window shopping. I was having a fun time as I Bee Gee strutted down the street and did my best to not seem like a total foreigner to the NY fancy pants scene.
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| that's me, walking down the street. If only I looked that good. |
As my eyes and mind were distracted by the contents behind glass and the song ringing in my ears, I finally noticed someone on the street corner, someone who I have seen in different parts of this large world we live in, someone I always empathize with: the poor and lowly of heart. A home-less lady sat on the street corner extending her cup out to the what seemed to me, uninterested tourists or accustomed travelers of Fifth Avenue.
I stopped, glad to know that I had 3 dollars in my pocket, the only cash I had. Handing it to her I asked this middle-aged, wrinkly, dirty, and desperate woman, "Why are you crying?" She swallowed and her tears fell. Her voice cracked,
"I'm hu--un-gry." She caught her breath amongst her whimpers
My immediate reacion:
"Here you go, best to you."
I dropped my paper greens into her hands and walked away...and as I pivoted, my mind counted up the contents of the coins and money I saw in her cup and told myself: she doesn't have enough money for lunch.
My next quest: Find her some.
I don't think much of myself for going to buy someone lunch. Please know, that I have made enough mistakes in my life while living in Peru of not dropping a few coins when I felt prompted that I promised myself that when I felt an impression to give, that I would give full-heartedly. If I can, I give. If I can't, I do what I can, and that's pray for them or someone to be that help. Karma; it's real.
The man on the corner looked like he knew where to "rustle up some grub". Going toward him a man handed me a flyer. Thank you. Continuing. The man behind him, on the corner, pointed me in the right and literal direction, and then asked me to compensate him for his help. I let him in on a secret: the Big Man (upstairs) pays much better than I do. I looked upward. He laughed. My cue to walk away was given.
A: bowl of fruit, banana, chocolate chip cookie, mineral water...purchase made. Subway next door? Perfect. A foot long, why not? When I went back to find her and hopefully ease her burden...she was gone. -_- My prayers went unanswered. Praying to find her and spot her...I moved forward. I moved forward and told myself...well, I didn't buy this for me, so I'm not going to eat it. There has to be a reason why I have all this food....(and honestly, it was a crazy quantity. What was I thinking. Easy, i wasn't. I was trying to, as corny as it sounds: follow my heart, follow the Spirit.)
What you tell yourself, I recognize in hind sight, really does matter. On repeat the words in my mind were: there has to be a reason for this. Maybe it's for someone else, however, my heart was set on finding HER and giving this feast to HER. I wanted to find HER.
So stubborn.
On my way down the street the man who handed me a flier tried giving me another one. I remembered his name, "Thanks Joe, you already gave me one." He stopped me. He proceeded to invite me to dinner. -_- He looked older than my Dad. Flattered, however, I declined. Then I saw the man on the corner, you know, the one wanting some compensation for "pointing me in the right direction" toward a food source. Here is what went down, and here is where the miracles began:
Me: "Hey, well, you know how you wanted me to pay you for the directions? Well, how about I pay you? Do you want a subway sandwich?"
He looked bewildered as I took the foot-long out of the bag and handed it to him.
Him: "Really? Why do you have a subway sandwich?"
Me: "Oh, well, someone was hungry but I can't find them. So, do you want it?"
Him: "Well yeah! You got it for someone who is hungry?"
Me: "It's true, here take the sandwich."
Him: "Can i take you to dinner sometime to pick your brain?"
I smiled. I laughed. He asked me if I was seeing someone. The answer: yes. True? Not entirely.
Him: "Have you ever dated a black man before?
can you tell he is black yet?
Me: "Well, I've been out with a black man, but have I actually dated one exclusively? No."
Him: "Are you against it?"
Me: "You know what? I learned to never say never."
He proceeded to ask me out several times and tell me how it's not normal for me to do what I'm doing...I took this great opportunity to tell him why I might seem so different, and that I am a Mormon. Not all Mormons are the same, but, we try to serve as we go. I invited him to receive missionaries in his home to listen to our message, he had mentioned that he'd been to visit us at church on a Sunday there in NYC. I got his information and I passed the information on. I hope he has gotten his visits from the missionaries.
I gave him his cookie. He asked to be my Facebook friend. We agreed. We parted paths.
Miracle One:
He saith to him the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He said unto him, Yeah, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep. - John 21:16
(Interesting evaluation: When I leave Utah, I get asked out withing one minute--TWICE--on the same block. Mind-boggling. In Utah... not so much.)
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| this is what Fifth Avenue looks like |
As I continued on my path still with a bag full of food I hoped to find this corner-lady. I saw another home-less man. Why I hadn't noticed them earlier was beyond me. He looked a little too refined to be what his cardboard sign said...and I almost ignored him. Then the thought came into my mind:
"How do you know if he's really homeless?"
He accepted my banana. I kept going. Miracle 2: Feed my sheep;
"Judge Not According to the Appearance"
Another card board sign read, Out of Work. Anything would help. He was smoking a cigarette and looking down. How must it feel to be sitting on the street for the whole world to know that you need a hand out? What if someone recognized you? He accepted a mineral water. Miracle 3: Feed my Sheep;
For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: i was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a starnger, and ye took me in."
Matthew 25:35
I had one item left in my bag. There were no homeless people in sight and my hotel room was just a few strides away.My cashier seemed nice, slightly cute, slightly not into my gender, and he started ringing up my item. We exchanged hello's.
Me: "So, have you eaten lunch today?
Him: "Well, actually, last night I made a great dinner and had packed my lunch with left overs but I forgot it at home."
Me: "Well, today is your lucky day." I put the fruit bowl in front of him and told him to grub out, now he's taken car of.
Stunned, he said, "There are good people in the world". Grabbing my bag I walked away, half-smile and all.
Miracle 4: Feed my sheep;
" As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love."
John 15:9
Love and loved.
Noticed?
Cared for? The Lord had a child with a need to meet.
"Continue in my love."
I never found the lady. Maybe she's the Fifth Avenue Ghost. Maybe she was the miracle. But, the lesson learned that day, and the lesson I am re-visiting today is:
We sometimes get promptings to do one thing, and we focus on that goal because 1) we think it's what we need to do to be fulfilled, 2)We felt that inspiration for it and can't image it could change 3) We get so caught up on achieving something we've worked so hard to do, however, sometimes, it's out of our hands.
In this case, I wanted to find this crying lady. You would have done the same. It's nothing totally unheard of. Something that occurred was that perhaps, she was the inspiration and spark of the miracle that led to the other 3 people who's lives of which I knew nothing about, who were then and now accountable to God and God alone, and who's lives were blessed by it.
Mine, I believe was changed. Never had I been in the right place at the right time with such consecutive experiences within such a small radius, not even serving a mission in Peru. I learned that sometimes we receive a prompting with one goal in mind but the Lord shifts it. He just needed to get us moving and then he turns us to the right people and shifts us in the right direction.
How does that apply to everyday situations?
You tell me.
For myself, I sometimes get frustrated when I don't see the why behind having to go through certain experiences. I, at times, feel I have wasted my precious time. I'm trying to realize how the Lord is working to re-position my path. I am too focused on it going in the direction I thought he meant it to instead of embracing his purposes. A plethora of miracles await me. I just need to let him change my course. I am working on my faith which proceed miracles.
"For if there be no faith among the children of men God can do no miracle among them; wherefore, he showed not himself until after their faith."
-Ether 12:12
Now, you tell me, can you recognize the hand of the Lord in your life? Can you tell when He is preparing a needed opportunity?
Don't forget the faith to take it. Be part of a miracle.
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