The Love of God

I'm not sure if I'm spoiled, lucky, blessed, one or all of the above because I can truly see how the desires of my heart are being fulfilled through a loving Father in Heaven. He really has been looking out for me in ways that I really do not feel that I deserve. It really helps one's belief in God to become solidified and more concrete, at least for me.

I had decided months ago that I should stick around Provo and make the money at work which is a blessing and a half to say the least...but...we all worry about money, income, bills, rent, you name it we worry about it. I, sad to say, am not much different from the rest of the world, although sometimes I think I am. So, I decided that I'd stay and make the money save up for next semester's tuition and sacrifice in that way. When I'd vocalize my Christmas plans I'd always get a "ew, I can't believe I am staying" thought/feeling but would try to cover up the disappointment with a slightly positive remark after, "It'll be okay, i'll be busy". Ew. Who am I kidding? The Lord continued to take care of me, though.

I'd have to walk to and from every destination, being without groceries and without a car is LAME. One of the most amazing girls I have met this semester from Italy named Giulia -- has the best accent ever, mind you....well, she let me borrow her car and I've been feelin' blessed in that way as well. At least being here in town while everyone else is with their families, I get to go wherever I want when I want. I've visited: Wal*mart, Deseret Book, and Little Cesar's pizza....go me.

My lovely Mother...every time we have talked on the phone and texted for the last month has asked me to come home and I would always respond with, "Mom, I want to but I have all these shifts, it'll be impossible for them to be covered with such late notice", she said she understood and then I'd realize that I did this to myself...

Hearing Christmas songs when you won't go home is like putting salt on a slug...the reaction? Your insides come out...it just doesn't help. I'll Be Home for Christmas...*sigh* I finally realized last night driving around (with Giulia's lovely car--thank you mucho) how money is not worth it. Nothing is worth more than family during the holidays and I felt the remorse of thinking money mattered more.

So, finally something has been done, and I decided to test things out, maybe ppl could cover for me, maybe I could find a reasonably priced ticket home...AND I DID---> Do you see why I feel the love of God? I think I know what's best for me and my life only to constantly find out how wrong I am. I did not feel that I deserved to go home, I mean, I chose this path, yet Heavenly Father knows that being with my family really means more to me than I realized and through his mercy and grace helped me find the way to go home. Through kind people who will sub for me and a loving Mother who is helping me out, I have a ticket home and will make it on Christmas Eve. And, even before getting that ticket, I have felt his love and comfort by giving me the means to stay in a comfortable way....but I chose to leave :D

To all those who are having a hard time making a choice, perhaps between work and being home with your kids or an amazingly fancy job that will take you away from your kids....or if maybe you are trying to decide what is best for you, your family, your future, remember that money does buy a lot and gives security, but what really matters most are those with whom you share your love and memories. If it takes away from those important teaching moments in life, if it keeps you from building a relationship with those who matter most to you, think twice. The Spirit will help you know what is right and wrong. Here is a video that continuously popped into my mind these last few days:

I am so ready to see my Mom, make a gingerbread house and home-made Italian meatballs with my Dad, fight with my brothers, and play with our dogs-- all this so we can remember our Savior together. I love how He always brings families together. <3 Virginia, here I come...<3

My Telenovela of A Life

Buenas noches. (Just a heads up, the 2 videos at the end of this blog are worth watching if you'd like to laugh or judge me, you pick, just don't skip over them!).


Just the Way You Are is playing in the background as I sit at my dark wood kitchen table adorned with newspapers from the painting that occurred yesterday, and not just any painting mind you but play dough painting...my little Charlie Brown Christmas tree needs decorations and as much as I want to buy all the decorations I could with a nice theme and all, i realize that my heart is more willing than my wallet. Play dough ornaments bring back amazing memories of my childhood and our ghetto 80's made play dough decorations my brothers made before I was born and how every year that I can remember opening the tins and bins to decorate the tree, i would always come across them...nothing beats something hand-made. 


Since finals have ended life has continued to be busier than ever, except now I do not feel guilty for not making time to read, ah, the bliss of not cracking a book (not all truth but let's go with it)!


These last few days are the reason why I say that my life is truly like a telenovela. It has consisted of me getting a massage... from a male therapist when I distinctly asked for a female -->awkwardly uncomfortable and embarrassing <--, shopping all day in my pajamas, going up to Salt Lake to see the lights only to ditch that and go to studio 600 instead to dance...only to dance most of the night with a drunk man with whom I had a heart-t0-heart with about his life and his goals and future ambitions. I found out that I have a secret admirer, I have a car for the rest of the year, I became a ventriloquist and watched the beyond cheesiest movie ever made at the dollar theater with Liva today. PHEW. Did you survive that paragraph? My goodness, I don't know if I did...


(this cheerio face depicts my feelings)

I honestly want to just forget about the massage...it was a b*day treat from a friend to go to the school...it just shows how ironic my life is. She asked for a female therapist and then a few minutes later I realized her genius and went to request the same thing, only to have the lady in charge to ignore my request because Sterling approached me and the incredibly intelligent person that I am didn't voice my feelings. I spent the next 30 minutes figuring out how to de*robe and how to convince myself to relax since I put myself in the mess. I got a free water bottle, a mint, and an old man creaming my back in exchange. ewies. 


Fast-forwarding a day to Studio 600 in Salt Lake:


Dances are fun yet they never change. I blame my thirst for this experience. Standing by the wall with Sascha and Iriving I decided it was time to quench my thirst and get a drink from the water fountain about 7 steps away. As I stood straight after slumping over to drink from the arch of the water the man to my right said something pointing to the water fountain. 


"Huh?"


Charlie Brown's teacher's waa waaa voice registered and I had no idea what he said but by his body movement something happened with the water fountain. I broke it because the water didn't stop coming out. 


He said more things to me of which I didn't understand. Then I think I understood...


"Quiere bailar?" You want to dance? (I was repeating what I thought he said)


Yup--i figured out the mystery. Sure, why not. 

He reminded me of Bill Cosby because after I answered his questions, ones such as..."Where are you from"...then I'd answer: "I''m from Virginia, D.C. area"...that's when I'd get that interesting face to the right which clued me in to the idea that Alvaro wasn't quite alright upstairs. This question and answer including "the face" continued during this dance episode. 


He smelled funny and I knew he was drinking before coming to dance and when the opportunity was right and when I felt that I could be more direct without offending him I asked Alvaro if he had doing that...I got the Bill Cosby face...the answer was yes. He honestly did not scare me or frighten me, in fact he was quite the respectful man, who happened to smell like stinky and who made funny faces. 


Somehow him with all his respect decided to be quite direct and proceeded to tell me that he needed a good girl to help him quit drinking, aka ME...and that he liked the way I think and just the same 'ol lines he probably gives to every girl who he dances with that doesn't bow out early. But, I have to say that I hope our conversation was something he took to heart to change his life. A 32 year old man who's wife left him and who has an 11 year old daughter who's Daddy is a drunk and who wants to quit just doesn't know how is someone who is more than just a drunk man on the dance floor. Every person has their background and their, to them, unresolvable problems.  We talked about God, the role God has in his life and why he should make the appropriate changes in his life. He kept insisting that I give him my phone number so that we could be friends with the intention of me being his "novia"...and that's when I asked him lots of questions of why he wants to quit and for who and did all I could to help him see that a woman can't do what the Lord can, with all his abounding love and with the help of the Savior lives can really change permanently. I felt, at the end of it all, quit blessed to have been able to dance with Alvaro, I hope that he gets his act together and can be there for those who need him. I won't hear from him again but  I hope his life goes well.


changing subjects, my favorite part:


Man, so much has happened during these few days. I wanted to get into the ventriloquist story but I will just put the videos instead--they do all the talking. Liva took me to this store today that had puppets inside and ginormous stuffed animals--stuffed dinosaurs even! I couldn't help but try being a ventriloquist. Enjoy!

Me testing out the life of a ventriloquist...it is quite addicting...

                                            I convinced Liva into making a video with me...people kept coming                       near us and disturbed the video-making. I really want a puppet for Christmas. Maybe I didn't play enough as a child? :)

On an airplane

Flying Delta.

In every movie I see, the main character (usually on a plane, or in a public place, waiting) sits next to an entreaging person of interest---usually with some attraction and curiosity involved. They strike up a conversation, are pleasantly surprised by their compatibility, and usually the rest of the movie has that to base as the foundation for the next 100 minutes.  Of course, no movie in particular comes to mind, but, they are our there.

I am left to believe that I am not the main character  in my own movie right now because...that person of interest who is supposed to be sitting next to me on the plane forgot to come today. empty seat in aisle 16! Let's be honest, if he did show up he would probably be a dark-haired "I forgot to shave for the last two weeks" greasy man or an older lady who keeps licking her finger to turn the pages in  her New York best-selling novel as she reads with the light on as I try to catch some z's. A vacant seat wins now I don't have to worry about our legs touching, or that I'll fall asleep on their shoulder. That'd be more than awkward, yet, I've  done it before.

I shouldn't have my headphones in right now...so the flight attendants say. What happens if you leave your "electronical devices" on when taking off into the atmosphere? Will my eardrums implode? Does it bring bad luck to the pilot? Or does it have to do with the mechanics of the airplane? I would like to know the reasoning or at least something about their request before I do it.

TAKING OFF

I tuned my music off--still ignorant to the action. I feel like I should have the attitude of Adam: "I know not [keeping the commandments] save the Lord asked me", accept delta aint nothin' close to bein' the Lord, so, my mind rejects the thought. 

"Think of all the beauty left in the world and be happy." -Anne Frank

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(3 days later)

I'm almost back on a plane and these days went and passed faster than I expected. The cliche experience but it holds SO much truth. 

My Dad's side of the family and my Mom's side are polar opposites yet somehow---they work. 

The sun is rising. I'm off to enjoy it. 

Conan O'Brien vs. Jimmy Fallon

For the last 8 years I have been a Conan O'Brien fan. I stopped watching Late Night for my insane schedule and for many times for lack of a t.v. (thanks college living), but, today for the first time, I watched Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. I'm curious to know why Conan was not able to come back to late night when they decided to let Jay Leno back.

I haven't really followed the story. Basically, Conan replaced Leno when Leno "retired" leaving it to Conan who had been on deck from Leno since 1993. Because of Leno's retirement (that last what, a year?) that slot was handed over to Conan, but, for some reason unknown to me for lack of snooping, Leno came back, bumping Conan off completely and letting Fallon, who was on after Conan, to take his former 2nd slot. So, I'm confused on why Fallon even has a talk show.

I don't see how he's funny, I'm sorry to say--okay, not really that sorry. To me he looks a bit up tight and very unnatural. I'm confused by the standing ovations. What am I missing?

The only thing I liked about Fallon is that he's the only late night show host who actually bashes on Obama, it seems like the world won't speak any smack of the man, when he has been less than perfect, but let's not get political.


I miss me some good 'ol Conan O'Brien!!!

He's on TBS but we don't get that channel. I'm doomed to having Jimmy Fallon access...I refuse to watch him. I have yet to laugh once.

Enjoy the following and I pity the foo who doesn't know who Conan O'Brien is.
There is still hope for you, grasshoppa.


 Goodnight.

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Cell Phone Drafts

Don't ask me where nor what I was doing when I checked my cell phone drafts where I write things that I observe on campus or I just make a list of things that happened. Okay, so some things are straight up opinions, but, here's the list for me to blog about later. I ain't got much time now to do it, so:

Most Recent to Less Recent:

*I dreamt we had a ghost watching us outside of the house. I shook his hand and to my surprise I felt it.

*Give talk Sunday Oct. 23rd from Pres Eyring's talk about Testimony (10-12 mins)

*Oct 15th: Saw my first shooting star @ age 25, Never wear this dress again--flashing experience, watched Tim and Stacey's sealing, lost 4 pills and then they appeared out of nowhere (Fishes and Loaves of Bread modern day experience), Bathroom prepping in St. George Visitor's Center bathroom, McDonald's pit stop hunger pangs, realized relationships I may have helped with God's approval, "Peruvian Pockets".

*"Be careful" referring to driving, "Watch out for the other guy" jajaja -Lady in temple 10/15

*Unseen beauty

*My thought to myself when I walked into the creamery because of conversations heard:
         OMGawsh it's scary how ppl talk about Harry Potter like it's a religious thing when they are in college.

*I'm anti Toms

*I saw Santiago on campus :)  (the man who always volunteers Saturdays at the TRC)

*Frisbee is an actual sport? Only in Utah.

*I don't understand people that walk around with headphones in, that have tall orange socks on up to their knees, and that drum noisily to their music when this should be a silent activity...when did walking on campus become a show?

*Habia una vez un perrito que se llamaba borrador. Un dia se erasco y deparecio. jajajajaj I kill me

Proven Wrong

I hate it when I go everywhere and I see the same person all around me. It's like everyone is cloned with the same pair of pants and the same pair of shoes. Speaking of which, from the old lady in front of me in the post office to the person sitting next to me in my History 252 class, Toms are on everyone's feet. I found myself getting extremely frustrated with this scene. I felt like everyone was trying to be everyone else and had no mental brain powers to think for themselves. I decided to investigate a bit of this Tom business. I've heard of them for years. I knew what they did, you buy a pair of shoes they give a pair away to people lacking in that. Understood. What frustrates me is seeing people doing things because it's a fad, a trend, popular. That drives me insane. People, think for yourselves!

But, I hate to admit this. I thought perhaps I converted, no, not quite yet. But, I sympathize now with Toms and see what greatness they stand for. The video was a heart strings tugger, because I know what is it for children to not have shoes. My own Mother only had one pair growing up in Peru. As I served in Peru for 18 months I associated and loved many families with children who did not have shoes either. So, this means a lot to me. I want to buy a pair so that someone without can have one.

My only hope is that people do things for the right reasons and not to be like the rest of the world. To think and decided and act with a reason behind it. I'm curious to know if I asked someone wearing Toms on campus of why they bought them if they would have a substantial reason. Please be someone with one...

changing the subject: Ab Ripper X no Yoga. We were tired. Long day. Oops.

NY version: Tree

Tree. Today is day tree (think of the Brooklyn [NY] pronunciation of the word "three", there you go). My Dad is from Brooklyn, so I grew up listening to this my whole life. Talk about the attitude, I have acquired that too, so, please don't be offended at me. (Check out the video to learn how to get your accent on, and yes, people from NY really do say what she says.)

Workout, done. Shoulders and arms is complete. We just need to do Ab Ripper X tomorrow because it got too late and we got tired. My goodness, everything hurts. This is quite the wake-up call to my long hibernating body. Poor thing. It's spring time for it. But, today it rained and called for boots and a jacket. We are in fall here in Provo, and winter is close behind.