Cleaning really has it's perks. I found my old moleskin notebook with a blog draft I wrote back in January of 2013. Apparanlty, I had been pondering the do's and don'ts in finding love by my lack of good experiences, and truly, not much has differed over a year later. This is verbatim from my notebook, for your pleasure. (sorry the format is poopy near the end i have no enter button to make it purdy.)
The New Year greeted me with more irony than hope. The irony can be flattering or mood changing...yet all I see on Facebook are shy attempts of literacy genius, cries for help, and New Years Resolutions. Instead of me complaining like Alanis Morissette so articulately and vocally , (mainly because I can't sing), I've decided to use my ridiculous encounters will artificial love to help anyone out there during the young New Year season. Let's try to learn from the past, shall we?!
1. What Not to Tell Single People: "I don't get why you're single; you're so awesome!!" If you really think so, then, date me, fool!
2. Take Initiative--Avoid Small Talk That Will Take You Both No Where: This is mainly for random encounters. If you enjoyed talking to me for 20 minutes of my precious life and pushed back my schedule--do everyone a favor--and get a # and ask me out, ask us out. I aint doin' it, I be a lady! Forget the 21st century. Be a man. Take initiative.
3. Keep Facebook Happy and Friendly--What does that mean? Well, ask us out via a phone call, even a text if you must (phone calls are better). Facebook chat is the biggest cop out. EVER.
4. Love Confessions Are Off Limits If You Are Barely Acquaintances: Save yourself some face. Infatuation can be unhealthy. You know, girls don't poop flowers and fart fragrances! Keep your cool.
5. Blind Date Memo: Don't push the boundary, no matter how well you get along. Don't ever tell the girl you are dancing with that you are NOT staring at her chest. That def didn't make me want sit the rest of the dance/date out. Nope. Not at all. -____-
6. If the Same Relationship Failed Before, It Will Fail Again: (There are exceptions but very few). If you broke up with someone for a very good reason once...or if the relationship is over and you are grateful in the long-run, don't be weak to repeat it. Whether you or the other wanting to "try again", just remember your youth and how you learned to, just say no.
7. Be a Go-Getter: So, a friend of a friend catches your eye? Wonderful! Great! Fantastic! Hand Stands! He/she can bring this together but after that--it's all on YOU. Be a go-getter. The window of opportunity is only open for so long...and if you keep relying on your wingman/woman, the girl will think you aren't efficient and don't have real interest. Don't be shy. Take the opportunity!
9. Foreigners: I have nothing against foreigners. I'm half foreign...meaning my Mom is not from this country, has an accent, is of color, speaks a diff language, you get it. So, don't take too much offense. I hate to say it but American girls are what Hispanics call, "fria". We worry about the reason behind your rush to profess your love. Take things slow...let us see how we feel. It's a cultural thing. If not--do not expect us to respond the way you do.
10. Cat-Calls? A BIG-NO-NO: We are ladies. If you want a cat, go to your local animal shelter and save a life, chump.
11.Dating? Engaged? Have friends! Go out! Enjoy life! BUT, be cautious. If you start to have feelings for someone else, re-evaluate your choices. It's not too late, but, don't expect things to get better by ignoring them.
12. If You Are Married: Be confident in your marriage and don't put your single/unmarried friends in awkward situations. Don't text old flames, "Hey, how are you?" and expect them to happily chat it up. It makes us uncomfortable. And, it can turn your spouse psycho, writing your friends hate messages thinking you're a cheater. Just think before you wish you were single again. Remember, you already found the love of your life! And, if a divorce is in the midst? Get things in order, then peruse.
The New Year greeted me with more irony than hope. The irony can be flattering or mood changing...yet all I see on Facebook are shy attempts of literacy genius, cries for help, and New Years Resolutions. Instead of me complaining like Alanis Morissette so articulately and vocally , (mainly because I can't sing), I've decided to use my ridiculous encounters will artificial love to help anyone out there during the young New Year season. Let's try to learn from the past, shall we?!
1. What Not to Tell Single People: "I don't get why you're single; you're so awesome!!" If you really think so, then, date me, fool!
2. Take Initiative--Avoid Small Talk That Will Take You Both No Where: This is mainly for random encounters. If you enjoyed talking to me for 20 minutes of my precious life and pushed back my schedule--do everyone a favor--and get a # and ask me out, ask us out. I aint doin' it, I be a lady! Forget the 21st century. Be a man. Take initiative.
3. Keep Facebook Happy and Friendly--What does that mean? Well, ask us out via a phone call, even a text if you must (phone calls are better). Facebook chat is the biggest cop out. EVER.
4. Love Confessions Are Off Limits If You Are Barely Acquaintances: Save yourself some face. Infatuation can be unhealthy. You know, girls don't poop flowers and fart fragrances! Keep your cool.
5. Blind Date Memo: Don't push the boundary, no matter how well you get along. Don't ever tell the girl you are dancing with that you are NOT staring at her chest. That def didn't make me want sit the rest of the dance/date out. Nope. Not at all. -____-
6. If the Same Relationship Failed Before, It Will Fail Again: (There are exceptions but very few). If you broke up with someone for a very good reason once...or if the relationship is over and you are grateful in the long-run, don't be weak to repeat it. Whether you or the other wanting to "try again", just remember your youth and how you learned to, just say no.
7. Be a Go-Getter: So, a friend of a friend catches your eye? Wonderful! Great! Fantastic! Hand Stands! He/she can bring this together but after that--it's all on YOU. Be a go-getter. The window of opportunity is only open for so long...and if you keep relying on your wingman/woman, the girl will think you aren't efficient and don't have real interest. Don't be shy. Take the opportunity!
9. Foreigners: I have nothing against foreigners. I'm half foreign...meaning my Mom is not from this country, has an accent, is of color, speaks a diff language, you get it. So, don't take too much offense. I hate to say it but American girls are what Hispanics call, "fria". We worry about the reason behind your rush to profess your love. Take things slow...let us see how we feel. It's a cultural thing. If not--do not expect us to respond the way you do.
10. Cat-Calls? A BIG-NO-NO: We are ladies. If you want a cat, go to your local animal shelter and save a life, chump.
11.Dating? Engaged? Have friends! Go out! Enjoy life! BUT, be cautious. If you start to have feelings for someone else, re-evaluate your choices. It's not too late, but, don't expect things to get better by ignoring them.
12. If You Are Married: Be confident in your marriage and don't put your single/unmarried friends in awkward situations. Don't text old flames, "Hey, how are you?" and expect them to happily chat it up. It makes us uncomfortable. And, it can turn your spouse psycho, writing your friends hate messages thinking you're a cheater. Just think before you wish you were single again. Remember, you already found the love of your life! And, if a divorce is in the midst? Get things in order, then peruse.
