Nine Days

Nine Days and I'll be on a plane on my way to Washington D.C.

A year goes by very quickly yet so slow at the same time. A year ago today I was still recovering from my apendix almost imploding inside my body and from having it surgically removed. That...feels like it happened more than a year ago. So much has changed, not just my lack of part of my digestive system.

I have a complete different set of friends, the job I always wanted, and a calling that I never guessed that I would have, yet I continue changing my mind all too often--just as I always do.

(this kind of cotton)

I gave up my dream major because, it just did not feel right. It was my "rough break up" of the semester. It was quite the ugly scene studio art and I had when we parted our ways. I was in my room a lot, contemplating life w/out it...if I could see myself in a commited relationship w/ it...realzing that we needed to part paths and ways took it's tole. That was not a pretty week. I'm totally serious.Parting w/ art is like giving up cotton. You can leave w/out it but it's a great fabric and shall be missed. Every now and then I wear a cotton shirt, or...pick up a paint brush. I feel at peace about my decision but looking back I would not have expected that change in myself.

I find that people say, "Oh, I'll never _______"--you fill in the blank. That has become quite the dangerous sentence. With time, that never becomes more than just a possiblity, (of course, withing the guidelines of the church. I am not talking about drinking or breaking a commandment, just our expectation of ourself or an idea.) Here's an example..."Oh, I'll never be a spanish major." BOOM. See, see! It became a reality.

I am a very concious person, I guess you can throw self concious in for fun but not really. More of the concious of what needs to be done, what needs to change. I have some deep thinking to do during this Christmas holiday of what I need to do to more fully enjoy what the Lord is giving me right now. He can shock me later w/ the nevers becoming realities.