Frogs vs. Dogs vs. Diana

I once had a dog that when she found a turtle in the backyard...she bit off it's head. I yelled @ Madison for it, even tried explaning that turtles are nice and that as a dog, to her, turtles would forever be off limits. This is coming for a girl that when she was driving home spotted a shell in the middle of the road, passed it, and went back out of worry that perhaps someone would run over it crushing it's shell...I put it out of harms way, got back in my car, and went home. This is coming from a girl that tried explaining to a dog that it's not okay to eat turtles. Well, I'm all about conserving the animals--at least the ones I like.

Today, I let my dogs outside and noticed them smelling a frog about the size of the tip of a thumb sitting right in front of the door. Great. I immediatley got nervous that they would attempt to eat it or even kill it, by past experience. My parents currently have 3 dogs. Bullet is my brother Phillip's beagle who decided to move in with the rents. He's a major grouch, it probably has to do with the fact that he was abussed before Phillip rescued him from the pound a few years back. All he requires is occassional attention and all he truly asks for is a couch to sleep on and food in his bowl.  He's the perfect dog, just a little anti-social.

Next, we have Lady, my parent's dog that they got a year ago from the neighborhood pound. My own Father confuses her name with mine on occassion (and is most likely done on purpose), don't ask me how or why. My Mom calls her "gringa", probably because she's white and blond. I hoenstly think she'd make the perfect wife for Jacob--you know, from the Twilight movies--but she can only marry the wolf verison of him. That'd be awkward if it was any other way. Unless, she could turn into a human version of herself--but this is requiring too much thinking and figuring out to even make sense. She is just over a year old, and is the "big sister" for our newest addition to the dog pack--Chiquitita.

Chiquitita is a pitbull. Her real name is Amanda, obviously named by my brother Simone, and is technically his dog still. (They all somehow manage to make their way to my parent's house).Who can call a dog a human name like Amanda? My Mom one day called her Chiquitita--meaning: little one, little girl? My Dad gets the award for slottering the pronunciation of the name, on purpose, of course, and calls her Chiquilila. That is just the wrong way to say Chiquitita.

So, I let the two girls outside where we found the thumb-sized version of this frog. It was actually reallllly cute so I picked it up and set it beyond the exterior of our fence, to avoid it's death. I did not want to witness it's slotter. Then, the dogs got distracted on my other side. When I looked over I saw what was destracting them. A disgustingly oversized frog-toad-thing. I really can't tell the difference between a frog and a toad, but if toad means it's uglier, then it was a toad. They sniffed it and the this beast of an amphibian.It startled me because I was concerned about a few things: one, that one of the dogs would bite it's head off, just like Madison with the turtle, and second, i was worried that if I attempted to pick it up to put it out of harms way, it would pee all over me, like that one time when I was eight, and I picked up a frog. I was very excited about it, and I guess, so was the frog because his defense mechanism kicked it by peeing on me it got me to drop it. I did not want to be peed on again. Sick. I was officially grodied* out.

I'm happy to report that after holding the dogs back and giving the frog time to escape, it managed to jump it's way into the corner. I womaned up and did it, I grabbed the sucker between my fingers and placed it gently in the grass beyond the fence, with the mini-version of itself. I saved a frog tonight. Someone had to do it. Better me than the dogs...right?

*grodied= probably not even in the dictionary, meaning: to be grossed out