TEN REASONS TO BE GRATEFUL (According to Me) #2014

Preface

 

It’s Thanksgiving day of 2014. I have a fake fire place roaring, a Hallmark movie on in the background, pie in my belly (and on the counter which is only a dangerously accessible location)…and, cue dramatically intense music, it has dawned on me. Christmas music will start full throttle in the morning. A second thing has dawned on me…I won’t feel guilty or self-conscious as its supporter.  But, there is a truth to all things and that is every year seems to be so incredibly different than the one prior. And, is it just me or has anyone asked themselves, WHERE HAS TIME GONE? 

My life is a big blur currently. 
Maybe I was the one abducted by aliens as a small child. You can call me Star Lord.

O_o Anyway. 

Before Thanksgiving is over and we jump on an entirely different band wagon for something to celebrate (Christmas: if it wasn’t about Jesus more celebrating would totally be an overkill), I figured the three people that read my blog should know about the things/persons I am most grateful for. Granted, the ones who will read this are probably in for a treat since I may be writing about them, but, that just gave them a higher rank to make it in my blog. Maybe next year, it’ll be you…if you follow and read my nonsensical blogs, chello! (Ahem, that's the key to life.) 

So, brace yourself for a list of things I’m grateful for and people I am grateful for. It’s not just about the turkey, people. #gobblegobble

Diana + Thankful for = the Following:

(Pictures Sometimes Included)

     1.      Pockets – when you reach your hand into your pocket and find a stub to a movie you actually felt the 2 hours you spent watching was worth it EQUALS a movie stub you are happy to save. #thankspocket

     2.      Dogs – just seeing them makes me want to own a dog farm OR take a road trip and save a dog from every pound I come across. #ItCouldHappen.

     3.      Toothbrush & Toothpaste –could you imagine life with dragon breath? #grody

     4.      Good Books—movies are fine and dandy but sometimes your eyes need some exercise. #IcanSeeItsaMiracle

     5.      Vehicles—when I drive home from work I can’t help but look at the lovely mountains that adorn the Utah landscape. Then, I imagine having to go across those peaks by foot pushing a hand cart. Thanks, Pioneers, for paving the way. They were true heroes, hand(s) (carts) down. #PunFail #iOnlyWalkWheniWantTo

     6.      Life In Color—by that I mostly mean that we can pick and choose how we see life, and live it. I, personally, like to go at it by the sound/beat of my own drum…throw some color or spice in life. I literally do that by how I dress, the order I eat my food in (dessert first is never bad), going against fads. #BeUhRebel

A Gem In Yellow (Mom:Right)

    

     7 .      Moms—they really are the cream of the crop. My Madre is the best example to me, even when we butt heads, I know she is right in the end and I will come to my senses later. When I do…#IseeTheLight And, she still is willing to make her baby girl lunch when Baby Girl stopped needing a packed lunch 20 years ago. Unconditional love. They got it down. #MomsRule

"The Ginas" BFF's4Life

    

     8.      Best Friends—they let you vent to them about anything. They won’t judge you even when you know you’re being ridiculous, they let you say your piece, ask questions, and won’t try to solve your problems, but just let you think it out (mostly meaning out loud), and are a true support. Gina, many thanks to you for all our venting sessions. #GodBlessBFFS

     9.      Vacations—sometimes (meaning always) getting away from the mundane brings a brighter and better perspective to your current situation. #InspirationThroughAVacation

He Lives

    

     10.  Faith—whatever faith it is you have, having faith in God helps me keep my act together.  It helps me to not try to bring justice on my own, but to realize that what I need to worry about is what God thinks of me, and if how I live my life reflects the person I want to emulate. There is a lot of nonsense in the world. There is a lot of meanness. There is a lot of unnecessary pain. What brings hope to all these situations (to me and) to many others who walk this life is a belief in a Man who did not have much but who’s example and impact is still being talked about. It is Him who get people through the hardest of times without becoming bitter. #WiseMenStillBelieve

Elvis Is Alive

Wal*mart has a bad reputation, but for poor folk like me, it's almost like church--the place I go at least once a week. 

I had such a visit this past week. When I realized how unproductive eating out had been to my concept of "saving money", and how much lower my funds would only get by keeping that up, I made the all-too-necessary pit stop at Wolly World. 

11 p.m. 

The only good and decent time to shop.

Have you ever walked down the pet isle and noticed these ridiculously miniature Tupperware-like containers? They are the ones filled with what seems to be 1/8 of water from a water bottle with a small, floating, scaly amphibian inside? Well, remember, beggars can't be choosers so Walmart fish are extra ghetto, for beggars like me. The water of these amphibious beta fish were a deep opaque and my heart frowned at the sight of them. All 8 of them. I am a sucker for living things, humans especially.

As I started to give each of these poorly treated beta fish some attention for perhaps the first time in their lives thinking, "Well, they don't seem like they will last long. I wonder if I will be the first and last to even give them a glance," I noticed an especially sickly looking fish...he was quite the underdog. Did I mention I am also a sucker for underdogs? 

I am.

Way in the back of the row on the back of shelf I found a crimson red beta fish, it's fins torn and broken, the water he existed in being brown, and I wondered if I could recognize a dead fish when I saw one. It's gills contracted and he moved. That was when I decided to become a fish owner. I couldn't leave seeing him exist in the muck of a cheap container and make it this far to die like that.

Picking out a big home for him, rocks, and a moon rock for him to "live" in, I shuffled my all-star pet into my cart to finish my grocery shopping--kinda what I went there for in the first place. To wrap up my sporadic beginning of an outing by buying a not on my list beta fish, I decided to stop by the lesser looked at cd's, in honor of my Mom, who is notorious for checking out old music, buying them, and listening to them...on repeat.

I am now my Mother, in case you wanted to know.

Elvis Presley, Love Me Tender, being on the list of songs on the cd in hand sold me. I need some self control. Hand-carrying my fish to my car, after putting groceries away, I inserted my classic disc, adjusted my fish in my right hand and drove away steering the wheel in my left. Pondering names, it became obvious. This fish was a fighter. He made it to the shelves of Walmart from some far off land and didn't die in the process. He's basically Nemo and needs a big, King-like name.

So, isn't it obvious?

Elvis lives.

The Do's & Don't In Finding Love

Cleaning really has it's perks. I found my old moleskin notebook with a blog draft I wrote back in January of 2013. Apparanlty, I had been pondering the do's and don'ts in finding love by my lack of good experiences, and truly, not much has differed over a year later. This is verbatim from my notebook, for your pleasure.     (sorry the format is poopy near the end i have no enter button to make it purdy.)

The New Year greeted me with more irony than hope. The irony can be flattering or mood changing...yet all I see on Facebook are shy attempts of literacy genius, cries for help, and New Years Resolutions. Instead of me complaining like Alanis Morissette so articulately and vocally , (mainly because I can't sing), I've decided to use my ridiculous encounters will artificial love to help anyone out there during the young New Year season. Let's try to learn from the past, shall we?!

1. What Not to Tell Single People: "I don't get why you're single; you're so awesome!!" If you really think so, then, date me, fool!

2. Take Initiative--Avoid Small Talk That Will Take You Both No Where: This is mainly for random encounters. If you enjoyed talking to me for 20 minutes of my precious life and pushed back my schedule--do everyone a favor--and get a # and ask me out, ask us out. I aint doin' it, I be a lady! Forget the 21st century. Be a man. Take initiative.

3. Keep Facebook Happy and Friendly--What does that mean? Well, ask us out via a phone call, even a text if you must (phone calls are better). Facebook chat is the biggest cop out. EVER.

4. Love Confessions Are Off Limits If You Are Barely Acquaintances: Save yourself some face. Infatuation can be unhealthy. You know, girls don't poop flowers and fart fragrances! Keep your cool.

5. Blind Date Memo: Don't push the boundary, no matter how well you get along. Don't ever tell the girl you are dancing with that you are NOT staring at her chest. That def didn't make me want sit the rest of the dance/date out. Nope. Not at all. -____-

6. If the Same Relationship Failed Before, It Will Fail Again: (There are exceptions but very few). If you broke up with someone for a very good reason once...or if the relationship is over and you are grateful in the long-run, don't be weak to repeat it. Whether you or the other wanting to "try again", just remember your youth and how you learned to, just say no.    

 7. Be a Go-Getter: So, a friend of a friend catches your eye? Wonderful! Great! Fantastic! Hand Stands! He/she can bring this together but after that--it's all on YOU. Be a go-getter. The window of opportunity is only open for so long...and if you keep relying on your wingman/woman, the girl will think you aren't efficient and don't have real interest. Don't be shy. Take the opportunity!

 

 8. Gay Friends Make You Feel Beautiful: Get some. It's that simple.

9. Foreigners: I have nothing against foreigners. I'm half foreign...meaning my Mom is not from this country, has an accent, is of color, speaks a diff language, you get it. So, don't take too much offense. I hate to say it but American girls are what Hispanics call, "fria". We worry about the reason behind your rush to profess your love. Take things slow...let us see how we feel. It's a cultural thing. If not--do not expect us to respond the way you do.

10. Cat-Calls? A BIG-NO-NO: We are ladies. If you want a cat, go to your local animal shelter and save a life, chump.                                                     

                                                               

11.Dating? Engaged? Have friends! Go out! Enjoy life! BUT, be cautious. If you start to have feelings for someone else, re-evaluate your choices. It's not too late, but, don't expect things to get better by ignoring them.                                                                                                                       

12. If You Are Married:  Be confident in your marriage and don't put your single/unmarried friends in awkward situations. Don't text old flames, "Hey, how are you?" and expect them to happily chat it up. It makes us uncomfortable. And, it can turn your spouse psycho, writing your friends hate messages thinking you're a cheater. Just think before you wish you were single again. Remember, you already found the love of your life! And, if a divorce is in the midst? Get things in order, then peruse.

                                                               

                                                                                           

Woodland Animals vs Pavement

To: the Woodland Animals

them

The joy-rides in the country are lacking joy these days. The city or even suburbs have what I miss and that is a ginormous lack of road-kill. Here in the boonies, it's a whole new world, but not the kind Aladdin and Jasmine were singing about. 

My view? Not so good.

the mirrors are taped down, oh yeah. 

I moved back to Virginia in September, driving across country in my coveted 1990, color rust, Mitsubishi Montero. My drivers and passengers mirror sway in the wind, my shocks are blown out so much that whenever I go over any bumps people literally take cover and scream out, “Oh my (fill in with your preferred name for a higher power)” to the explosion that occurs from  cordial exchange between my wheels, the shocks, and the cement.  Along with the interesting drive across country with my Mom and my puppy beagle, the arrival was nothing less than blissful. I have vowed to never road-trip again. Don’t worry, I know I’m kidding myself, but my resolve is still strong.

 I have loved the scenic view of the Blue-ridge Mountains and greenery transforming into reds, yellows, oranges, and now browns. I have admired the change of seasons as I take my safari rides north and south on route 29, until, the truth behind living in such an animal enriched place slowly started to reveal itself.

Yes, I would answer “yes” to being an avid animal lover. As a five-year-old, rescuing earthworms that got washed out of their holes in the ground out onto the sidewalk was my only ever-expected activity after a rainstorm. Pick-up, squish between fingers, hello grass—the responsibility of a five-year-old; those were the days. However, picking up slimy earthworms after the storm all occurred in the pleasant streets of northern Virginia—you know the city? Out here, in the country, it’s a different ball game.

Earth-worm salvaging is nothin' to 'em country folk. Out here, saving animals isn't exactly on the top of the list for 'em adults as it was mine as a child, and I must admit, I still enjoy saving things. Hunting, shooting, skinning and eating--well, that is expected out here. I am no country girl, even if I tried. My record of being southern occurred 7 years ago when I visited the CMT (Country Music Television) channel during the span of a month where I participated in knowing the top 20 countdown for the year of 2005. I still like 2 songs from that experience: Would you Go with Me, by Josh Turner and The World, by Brad Paisley. That’s as deep as I get with my country side.

for your enjoyment

Maybe I’m overly sensitive. Maybe I heart animals more than I thought. Maybe wanting to save the woodland animals is on everyone’s to-do list. Maybe it’s not. All I know is that I have seen one too many carcasses in the span of really a month, my first month here. If I must be frank, I have cried over it. I embrace the wuss within me. 

As I was driving home one dark and late evening after getting off my shift, my safari car headlights lit up only just enough ahead of me as needed. By the skin of my nose I noticed this dark blob in front of me and I mustered up the coherence to try to move away from this dark an unidentified grounded object. For all the trouble I was putting myself through, it would probably be a t-shirt that escaped from the back of a passing truck. Then, I saw it. The light revealed the sad scene. On his side and facing toward me, and all the oncoming parties behind me, layed a raccoon—living and breathing. Adorning his left arm and shoulder, he was seemingly glued,  facing up and covered in blood, there placed by a collision that occurred only seconds before we had our encounter. He was breathing. He was in one piece. He was unable to move. What a fearful situation.

Always,  my heart breaks over seeing beautiful deer or foxes in frozen poses pulled on the “other side” of the line as I made my way to and fro location x and destination y. Never had I been eye-to-eye with a living animal in such a dire situation as with Mr. Raccoon.  If I had it my way, I would have stopped my car and rescued the chap, lime disease and all. I swerved. My wheels didn't add any damage but all I could think about as I covered my mouth and my eyes filled with tears was that the cars behind me might not swerve, they might not go around, they might not care and then... that would be it. Life over.

I've been pondering this since my road-trip across country. Even bugs that would disappear in an instant from a solid to a liquid due to the collision with my windshield had to serve some purpose as I washed them away, one wipe at a time.  I have been thinking how instantaneous death is and how anticlimactic these animals' and insects' deaths have been. Then, I compared that type of end to a life with people. People fall of buildings and become just like the animals I see daily. Cars hit cars and people and that is a quick exit from this world. That is not my preferred way to die. The ideal way out would be saving someone else, dying and fighting for your country, being on a meaningful and integrity-filled errand…not…trying to cross the road and getting slammed on the way…or…almost making it and just having to lay there thinking of how close you were before it would all be over. 

I find that people pass by these dead or dying woodland animals and brush them off as a shame or…that there are too many of them so good riddance to bad rubbish and it’s to “decrease the surplus population,” you know, something Scrooge would say…but, I just can’t do that. It seems so demeaning and to me gives those creatures absolutely zero worth. How are they less than I in their chance to live? Bambi had a Mom (and Dad), and don’t we know what happened to her. There has to be some type of honor from their departure.

I have to say, I have utmost respect for the “road kill” I see. I don’t see it as I used to. I would think, “Oh, how sad!” and in my mind wonder why on God’s beautiful green earth, why and how loud noises and trucks or cars couldn't scare them off from taking on the task of crossing the road. It makes them sound stupid, and yes, their brains are small, but their instincts are incredible. They are not stupid, they are brave and here is why.

They are smarter than most of us, the human population. Sound contradictory? It isn't. 

How many people stay in the conformity of their own comfort zone? How many people dare not even attempt to follow their dreams ? How many opportunities are lost from not trying? The chances of “getting to the other side” or actually having it come to light are sometimes too threatening or too scary to handle. How is that smart? Here is the question I take away from “them”—am I not even daring to take a step toward that greener pasture because I may get hit? It could be an experience to change all experiences. Maybe there was something that animal was trying to reach…food, babies, a better life…use your imagination here. I think they may have way more courage and guts ( and I’ve seen it) than the rest of the forest and the rest of us. So, instead of feeling sad for them like I did, and forget the whole “it’s inevitable” attitude, I say, see it from a different angle. Nature is full of lessons.  I would rather die young trying to reach a dream than grow old wishing I had taken that potentially deathly leap onto the road to get to the other side. perhaps, to theirs and our own Promised Land. 

HOW?! The other side. 

 To the woodland animals. 

Identity Crisis?

For most people, this is a natural thing. Some people, of both genders, have issues with this, so maybe they might be excluded now or at some future point in time. Most,  if not all babies, may be born bald but eventually their hair catches up with them, and that continues to grow, no matter how much Mommy cuts it off or gum calls for a trim (or sometimes a massive chop).

Cut your hair and it grows back. It’s not like a limb, you know--enjoy it now because once it’s gone welcome to  a world of…a prosthetic arm, a wooden leg, or a silver hook…

But…

no make-up pic back in July (before)

Doesn’t it feel that way?!

Once you cut it all off, you find yourself in the same stance in from of the mirror, fiddling with your hair, combing it,  analyzing it, all over a consecutive period of time with that lingering thought: did this nonsense grow???

I've been struggling with the reality that yes, it will grow back. Part of the reason why I chopped my, in retrospect—gorgeous locks—was because I wanted to get away from the self-absorbing funk we can all be guilty of. HOWEVER, it’s a total b-word letting go of something as ridiculous as HAIR.

As a lady, there are so many expectations (not necessarily fact),  from all sides of the argument that a lady should have long hair for: wedding pictures (not getting married anytime soon here FYI, in case you are wondering), to be considered attractive to the opposite sex,  to have sex appeal,  to be considered modern, to have something to flip when dancing (which I miss MUCHO)…however, this is something that most women use as reasons to not cut off their hair, even when they want to.  What a bunch of crap, right? It’s just shizz that grows on the top of your head, how did this become so symbolic and important to most people, men and women? I saw that Jennifer Aniston cut her hair and her reaction was that she already regretted it after just doing it. WTFudge? Really? Confession: I’m totally like her. 

I felt that way 5 days after the encounter with scissors. 

As of late, I am having a severe identity crisis. I hate to admit it. It literally makes me gag…oh wait..I just  threw up a little in my mouth. Aren't you glad you can’t see me?

My sudden decision to cut my hair…and now my hair gone…has taken a toll on my confidence and on my style. It’s hard to dress the same and feel trendy like I once did.  My reflection is someone else because I have no clue who is looking me back, but what the "h", she totally copied my glasses.

"After": *a baby is the new accessory* (today)

So, instead of continuing on the pathetic rant of how I feel “ugly” and “ew” and struggle with my current do of the hair…I am focusing on being what Shakespeare said, “to thine self be true”. As much as I want my outsides to match my insides, if I have good insides in general,

 then,

I can sleep at night.

If that is my new focus from a little hair-chopping, then so be it.

I find it most beneficial.

To stopping vanity. 

Good night--zzZZ

Between the Eyes

This has been what seems like the laziest day of my life and hopefully will be the last for a while. Thanks a lot stressful flying for catching up with me and making me feel like poop. However, this gives me a chance to put on virtual paper what has been on my mind for the last few weeks.

Besides stress creating the world's most vicious zit between my eye brows, during the last few weeks lessons have metaphorically hit me hard between the eyes, and I don't know if I really have a conclusion regarding all the thoughts that have come and gone from my Dori-mind.

As much as I want people to be judged for who they are, and as much as I want to be judged by who I am, other factors always out-do the ones that I find truly matter most. All the girlfriends I talk to about get on my case about this, however, I still remain unconvinced that I am wrong.

The last thing I want to sound like would be associated with a bitter old lady or what Tony Horton says, a broken record, however, I am still waiting to be proved wrong, and my seemingly bitter old lady record might just play until then.

Here it is: I find that I live in a shallow place...

And I'm not referring to shade here. 

That is a generalization, and not everyone is like that, however, I find that the majority of people I meet, maybe even I, fall under this category: lacking depth; superficial.



As much as I know this it is not true, I find that here beauty is all too often and constantly defined to women subconsciously and evidently by example after example by a certain size rather than how someone makes you feel and the character that they have, at least in this culture. It's exhausting. I say that because of the absolutely beautiful friends that I have that go unnoticed and also by my personal experience of "not measuring up" (there's a pun for you). 

What a contrast from the two other Americas: Central and South.

From serving a mission in Peru, to traveling to Colombia, and now from going to and coming from Guatemala, what I've learned is that people do not identify themselves they way we do here in the good 'ol U.S. of A.  Here, everything seems to be identified by how close we emulate this generation's idea of "perfection",  to the brands we buy, labels, music, hairstyles you name it, we associate what is "cool" by the exterior more than the interior. I don't speak for everyone, but from my experience living in the small town of Provo, I have continuously witnessed value being based on a first glance than long-lasting good character in the dating world. 

I'm not exactly sure how to explain it. Maybe it's my age. When I was younger how I identified a man as handsome was if he measured up to being a "hottie bo bottie". Of course, with time and a change of perspective, physical attraction has become the cream cheese icing on the vanilla cake--a pretty face won't win this corazon, nor does it give enough of a reason to date someone, there has to be more. 

 By my observations, I see guys taking out girls who fit their trophy wife model instead of a deeper beauty, or, maybe I'm wrong and need to get new glasses? Maybe.

 After being in Guatemala helping in doctor visits, I came across women who had a list of problems and issues but who were rich in love and family. They had stretch marks along their bellies and perhaps were not as well kept as others, yet, this did not prevent their beauty from being seen or from their progression.

Why do we complicate life and love here? 

I would invite all men everywhere, like my extremely amazingly funny friend Jenny, to ask girls out and be men, but not only that, but not to categorize beauty by what standards that the media gives or even our friends would give. There are beautiful girls that have so much to offer, but it takes a special kind of a man to truly recognize it and value it. Sometimes I wonder if that kind of man exists. 

On a personal note, I have put on about 50 pounds since my first semester at BYU, and I can guarantee that when I lose the weight, people will treat me differently, and I do not look forward to that day because I will be the same person then that I am now and recognizing the difference in treatment will only shine the light on them than on me. True quality people will be able to recognize true beauty as the people of Guatemala are able to do, seeing past the exterior and looking into the interior. 

 So, conclusion? 

I would like the definition of beautiful:

beau·ty  

/ˈbyo͞otē/

Noun A combination of qualities, such as shape, color, or form, that pleases the aesthetic senses, esp. the sight. A combination of qualities that pleases the intellect or moral sense,

 to put into practice--apply it in real life, the world would be a more peaceful place.

What hit me between the eyes? 

There are different types of beauty. To me, the best beauty is hidden.  As much as I complain of not being credited for being beautiful in an obvious way, when the stars align, the right guy will remind me of Melvin Uvall from the Oscar Winning move, As Good As It Gets, in what he says to the woman he loves with this:





[to Carol Connelly] 

"I might be the only person on the face of the Earth that knows you're the greatest woman on Earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, Spence (her son). And in every single thought that you have, and how you say what you mean, and how you almost always mean something that's all about being straight and good. I think most people miss that about you, and I watch them, wondering how they can watch you bring their food and clear their tables, and never get that they just met the greatest woman alive. And the fact that I get it makes me feel good about me."

Here's to choosing to see beauty in more than a one-dimensional prism, not only romantically, but prospectively.