Relax Yo Mind

It's been the world's longest and most stressing day. I resolve to watch my favorite comedian until I feel better and like it's time to be productive. You're invited to join me:

http://www.comedycentral.com/video-clips/5opp89/stand-up-gabriel-iglesias--roller-coasters

(that link is 5 stars...i can't upload it...sad face)

Paz fuera. 

The Miracle on 5th Avenue

Miracles, do they really exist?

When we try to emulate the Savior, Yes--yes they do.

I know it, but sometimes I have to remind myself to believe it.

My memory taught me a lesson, a lesson of how miracles can happen everyday, one that I was part of, and one that meant so much to me. I am going to recount my Saturday walking down 5th Avenue this past February.

Exploring. Alone. Risk.

I like that. I went exploring a snowy Saturday morning and walked back toward my hotel that same afternoon, and it just so happened that my hotel was on 5th Avenue, infamous for its' high end names of clothes and window shopping. I was having a fun time as I Bee Gee strutted down the street and did my best to not seem like a total foreigner to the NY fancy pants scene.

that's me, walking down the street. If only I looked that good.

As my eyes and mind were distracted by the contents behind glass and the song ringing in my ears, I finally noticed someone on the street corner, someone who I have seen in different parts of this large world we live in, someone I always empathize with: the poor and lowly of heart. A home-less lady sat on the street corner extending her cup out to the what seemed to me, uninterested tourists or accustomed travelers of Fifth Avenue.

I stopped, glad to know that I had 3 dollars in my pocket, the only cash I had. Handing it to her I asked this middle-aged, wrinkly, dirty, and desperate woman, "Why are you crying?" She swallowed and her tears fell. Her voice cracked,

"I'm hu--un-gry." She caught her breath amongst her whimpers

My immediate reacion:

"Here you go, best to you."

I dropped my paper greens into her hands and walked away...and as I pivoted, my mind counted up the contents of the coins and money I saw in her cup and told myself: she doesn't have enough money for lunch.

My next quest: Find her some.

I don't think much of myself for going to buy someone lunch. Please know, that I have made enough mistakes in my life while living in Peru of not dropping a few coins when I felt prompted that I promised myself that when I felt an impression to give, that I would give full-heartedly. If I can, I give. If I can't, I do what I can, and that's pray for them or someone to be that help. Karma; it's real.

The man on the corner looked like he knew where to "rustle up some grub". Going toward him a man handed me a flyer. Thank you. Continuing. The man behind him,  on the corner,  pointed me in the right and literal direction,  and then asked me to compensate him for his help. I let him in on a secret:  the Big Man (upstairs) pays much better than I do. I looked upward. He laughed. My cue to walk away was given.

A: bowl of fruit, banana, chocolate chip cookie, mineral water...purchase made. Subway next door? Perfect. A foot long, why not? When I went back to find her and hopefully ease her burden...she was gone. -_- My prayers went unanswered. Praying to find her and spot her...I moved forward. I moved forward and told myself...well, I didn't buy this for me, so I'm not going to eat it. There has to be a reason why I have all this food....(and honestly, it was a crazy quantity. What was I thinking. Easy, i wasn't. I was trying to, as corny as it sounds: follow my heart, follow the Spirit.)

What you tell yourself, I recognize in hind sight, really does matter. On repeat the words in my mind were: there has to be a reason for this. Maybe it's for someone else, however, my heart was set on finding HER and giving this feast to HER. I wanted to find HER.

So stubborn.

On my way down the street the man who handed me a flier tried giving me another one. I remembered his name, "Thanks Joe, you already gave me one." He stopped me. He proceeded to invite me to dinner. -_- He looked older than my Dad. Flattered, however, I declined. Then I saw the man on the corner, you know, the one wanting some compensation for "pointing me in the right direction" toward a food source. Here is what went down, and here is where the miracles began:

Me: "Hey, well, you know how you wanted me to pay you for the directions? Well, how about I pay you? Do you want a subway sandwich?"

He looked bewildered as I took the foot-long out of the bag and handed it to him.

Him: "Really? Why do you have a subway sandwich?"

Me: "Oh, well, someone was hungry but I can't find them. So, do you want it?"

Him: "Well yeah! You got it for someone who is hungry?"

Me: "It's true, here take the sandwich."

Him: "Can i take you to dinner sometime to pick your brain?"

I smiled. I laughed. He asked me if I was seeing someone. The answer: yes. True? Not entirely.

Him: "Have you ever dated a black man before?

can you tell he is black yet?

Me: "Well, I've been out with a black man, but have I actually dated one exclusively? No."

Him: "Are you against it?"

Me: "You know what? I learned to never say never."

He proceeded to ask me out several times and tell me how it's not normal for me to do what I'm doing...I took this great opportunity to tell him why I might seem so different, and that I am a Mormon. Not all Mormons are the same, but, we try to serve as we go. I invited him to receive missionaries in his home to listen to our message, he had mentioned that he'd been to visit us at church on a Sunday there in NYC. I got his information and I passed the information on. I hope he has gotten his visits from the missionaries.

I gave him his cookie. He asked to be my Facebook friend. We agreed. We parted paths.

Miracle One:

He saith to him the second time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? He said unto him, Yeah, Lord; thou knowest that I love thee. He saith unto him, Feed my sheep. - John 21:16

Change things up; bring a little subway into someone's life. There is more than one way to feed a man, and the other is to feed his soul.

(Interesting evaluation: When I leave Utah, I get asked out withing one minute--TWICE--on the same block. Mind-boggling. In Utah... not so much.)

this is what Fifth Avenue looks like

As I continued on my path still with a bag full of food I hoped to find this corner-lady. I saw another home-less man. Why I hadn't noticed them earlier was beyond me. He looked a little too refined to be what his cardboard sign said...and I almost ignored him. Then the thought came into my mind:

"How do you know if he's really homeless?"

He accepted my banana. I kept going. Miracle 2: Feed my sheep;

 "Judge Not According to the Appearance"

http://www.lds.org/general-conference/1979/04/judge-not-according-to-the-appearance?lang=eng

Another card board sign read, Out of Work. Anything would help. He was smoking a cigarette and looking down. How must it feel to be sitting on the street for the whole world to know that you need a hand out? What if someone recognized you? He accepted a mineral water. Miracle 3: Feed my Sheep;

For I was an hungered, and ye gave me meat: i was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a starnger, and ye took me in."

Matthew 25:35

I needed a souvenir. I had been on the infamous Fifth Avenue and still had bought nothing from any of the stores. Next stop: H&M. The clothes= cheap and cute. I had 10 minutes. The $10 dollar wrack caught my attention. Blue. Sweater. Done. Check out, please.

I had one item left in my bag. There were no homeless people in sight and my hotel room was just a few strides away.My cashier seemed nice, slightly cute, slightly not into my gender, and he started ringing up my item. We exchanged hello's.

Me: "So, have you eaten lunch today?

Him: "Well, actually, last night I made a great dinner and had packed my lunch with left overs but I forgot it at home."

Me: "Well, today is your lucky day." I put the fruit bowl in front of him and told him to grub out, now he's taken car of.

Stunned, he said, "There are good people in the world". Grabbing my bag I walked away,  half-smile and all.

Miracle 4: Feed my sheep; 

" As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love."

John 15:9

Perhaps, these people needed to feel:

Love and loved.
Noticed? 
Cared for? The Lord had a child with a need to meet. 
"Continue in my love."


I never found the lady. Maybe she's the Fifth Avenue Ghost. Maybe she was the miracle. But, the lesson learned that day, and the lesson I am re-visiting today is:

  We sometimes get promptings to do one thing, and we focus on that goal because 1) we think it's what we need to do to be fulfilled, 2)We felt that inspiration for it and can't image it could change 3) We get so caught up on achieving something we've worked so hard to do, however, sometimes, it's out of our hands.

In this case, I wanted to find this crying lady. You would have done the same. It's nothing totally unheard of. Something that occurred was that perhaps, she was the inspiration and spark of the miracle that led to the other 3 people who's lives of which I knew nothing about, who were then and now accountable to God and God alone, and who's lives were blessed by it.

Mine, I believe was changed. Never had I been in the right place at the right time with such consecutive experiences within such a small radius, not even serving a mission in Peru. I learned that sometimes we receive a prompting with one goal in mind but the Lord shifts it. He just needed to get us moving and then he turns us to the right people and shifts us in the right direction.

How does that apply to everyday situations?

You tell me.


For myself, I sometimes get frustrated when I don't see the why behind having to go through certain experiences. I, at times, feel I have wasted my precious time. I'm trying to realize how the Lord is working to re-position my path. I am too focused on it going in the direction I thought he meant it to instead of embracing his purposes. A plethora of miracles await me. I just need to let him change my course. I am working on my faith which proceed miracles.

"For if there be no faith among the children of men God can do no miracle among them; wherefore, he showed not himself until after their faith."

-Ether 12:12

Now, you tell me, can you recognize the hand of the Lord in your life? Can you tell when He is preparing a needed opportunity?

Don't forget the faith to take it. Be part of a miracle.

-__-

I feel squishy. Don't call me your squishy, I just feel it. Winter is taking it's final bow and now Spring and Summer will be making their grand entrance into my life. Bring on the nice weather but...being body conscious is starting.

I don't know why it's so easy for my genetics to embrace the squishy life.

I am once again resolving to do P90X but I reallllly need to dedicate myself to it amongst the busy life of work, school, and an occassional social life....this means...

wake up early
workout before work=the hardest thing ever
go to bed EARLY
eat more healthily

those are my goals.

How deep am I.

Before and After?

If I must.

TBC

Prince Eric + Mr T = I Heart Old People

Hi. 

 "He spoke too soon."
I remember my older brother saying that as we watched The Little Mermaid when I was small child and every time that scene would come up I parroted it..."He spoke too soon!", as if I really knew what it meant. Chea-no.

He actually scares me :(

You know that scene...when Eric exclaimed that he would down-right know the right girl to marry his pretty little prince-self to when he saw her, and then said it would, "hit me, like lighting!"A bolt flashed and the seas threw him over-board.

Let's knock on wood I don't speak too soon and get thrown into the waves and violent sea of life with instability...unless there is a metaphorical merman out there waiting to rescue me?
Maybe? -.- Fine.

What I am knocking on wood for is the plethora of amazing opportunities coming my way and me not sure which one to go with...nor sure exactly what I should do. Can you imagine a big question mark over my head? Well, you should try...it will work.

Today I was contemplating my summer/fall plans...if I want to be around after August when my contract is up or if I want to move back to Virginia OR if I want to travel and see what opportunities are out there abroad for me (DING DING DING--that's what I want to do).

I still don't know exactly what I will do, my fate lies in the Lord's hands, as it always does--hence why they say things happen for a reason--but, I want to relate an experience I had today with a nice older man named Don. 

I need a shirt that says that. 

Yes, Don is old. 

He asked me about my earrings--(a great way to start a convo not so old guys out there who lack social skills...seriously...just pick something to talk about)--and I mentioned PERU and how I go back often and we both hit it off about Machu Picchu. (Side note** Apparantly, Don is coming with my Mom and I when she turns 60, he invited himself and I could not turn the man down, did you not notice how smooth and charming this fellow is? ;) Eventually he turned the tables and got personal (he would) and asked me about my life. Now, let me give you an insight, what I ADORE about older people is their incredible ability to be answer to my personal questions, doubts, concerns. They bring such a love and experience to the table when it comes to advise and conversations that my ears always perk up, I am put in my place (not Miss Know-It-All) and I shut up and listen. It's fabulous. The world needs to visit old-folks homes if they want some advise. Shoot. I was snapping when I said that. Ghetto-fierce.

What is on my mind??

Alright, back on track, pardon the detour. Don asked me about something that has been on my mind for a while now...and I have had some ideas and back-up plans regarding the rest of my year and Don swooped in and encouraged me in just the best way he possibly could have. He found out one of my desires which is to work in hospitals and translate, not because I think I can speak spanish well (ask anyone who actually speaks perfectly and they'll level with you), but because of the joy of helping others. Don did not do much but clear the fog out of the house of my mind, and showed me the possibilities that are out there and that they are ENDLESS. He shared his personal experience in his younger years as an accountant and how his ability to say, "I am AWESOME at what I do" and how if I can have that type of attitude, I can make my goals happen. I felt an incredible peace and felt the invisible/metaphorical doors open up in my life. Perhaps they are doors that I put there and almost closed.

He recommended that I make a few phone calls and get my faith out of limbo and put it into action, (by me actually doing something about the ideas I have) and seeing how things go. I feel so incredibly motivated. Freed? I'd say so.

My favorite part has been that I feel like Don was sent from God to talk to me about things that matter to me and help me see that I am cabale and if I'm not yet, I can say I am until I become it and to never give up or let an opportunity pass by just because I think I am not. So many people less qualified than me say they are good at something and guess what? Yup, you got it. How can I put this nicely--they suck. Head nod.

So, lesson learned? Let's re-cap: 

1. Talk to old people--he even invited me over...how cute is that?
2. Talk to everyone--you never know how they can give you a hand, a push, reference, etc.
3. The Lord knows our minds and our hearts 
4. The Lord answers our prayers through others and is there to kindly push us along the right path
5. Trying new things is a good thing

6. Prince Eric can be used in a blog

On a personal note...let's see where this year takes me and YOU!

 There are a few plates on the table regarding choices and possibilities but the more plates the merrier!

Don't give up...and don't deny yourself of wonderful opportunities! 

Just try!!!!! >:(

Don't make me get Mr. T-ish on you. Fool. ;P

Tell Me What You Really Think

Two things never fail. 

Not a week goes by when the most unsought for things are constantly brought to my attention. LUCKY ME (that's a sarcastic statement in case you can't hear my voice ringing in your mind)!

Usually people notice my features and think I'm either Italian (which is right) or Latina (which is also correct). They never guess I'm both. I'm a rare breed--it's understandable. But this is the norm of my life as of late.

I've never solely identified myself by my race, the way I talk, or if there is a ring on my finger. 

I work as a receptionist (basically--let's just call it that for now) in a laundry mat--in the big times, people. Look out.  Older people and students come in to get help and I have to talk to them and help them with what they are looking for usually by asking them their last names and take it from there.  Personally, I enjoy making small talk. If I'm going to be standing in front of someone for between 30 seconds to 5 minutes, I want to make those seconds worthwhile for both of us. Life is boring enough as it is. Let's spice this bad boy up! Let's have some fun convo! Usually they loosen up after I break the ice. (It's so enjoyable to see someone smile and laugh. That is my personal philosophy  that there is so much happiness that comes from making someone else smile or laugh or anything. It just makes me feel good because they feel good. Okay, tender moment is passing now.)

So, today--

Me and this older gentleman small talked while I got his items that he left for us. We started making small talk and then he finally looked at me enlightened, jumpy and said: 

     "Hey! Where are you from? You look like you're not from here"

Me: (I have seriously heard this 30 times within the last few weeks) Uh haha no sir, I'm not      

         from here, you're good!

              usually here is when people ask me if I'm from New York but he didn't guess.

Him: Well, where are you from?

Me: Haha I'm from Virginia.

That's when he told me that he could tell, as an easterner himself,  that I wasn't from these parts.He would know, he's from Pennsylvania...he KNOWS an easterner when he sees one. 

I won't lie.

I giggled inside.

I've heard this before, "Are you from New York?", "You look and sound like you're from New York", "Are you hispanic", "You look exotic", "You can dance you're hispanic", "You aren't from around here, I can tell by the way you talk". The list goes on and on. I really don't mind it. In fact, I like that people can tell I'm not from here, I just never realized that I'm ...wait for it...different. o.O

The OTHER thing I always hear? And I shall show you by example:

The same man that I was helping in the previous dialogue---during his epiphany of my origin he asks while he looks over the counter to my hands typing on the keyboard he says, 

"Are you...(he sees my ringless ring finger on my left hand) you're not married!? I just can't believe that! I'm so surprised that you aren't married. You know I have a son..." and then we had that interesting conversation of people trying to set me up, and keep in mind, I had JUST met this man. I explained that it's not like it used to be back in the good 'ol days.

This is the story of my life, currently. Let's be clear. I'm not mad i'm not married. I'm not  going to go marry the first guy that asks me out.  It's flattering that people are kind to me and don't make me feel this, "Oh, I can see why you're not married" or perhaps think to themselves, "Ahh, yeaaaah....poor girl", so not preferable, but it's not a race or a club to join!

But, this is the funny, weird, odd, interesting things of my life. All-in-all, a great episode for a Friday.

---------------------------------------------------

Answers to the posed questions by random people I meet: 

1) I say I'm from Virginia. I was born in Georgia on an army base. We grew up in Virginia because my Mom's family came from Peru there and stayed. My Dad is from New York and has a strong accent so I grew up listening to his NY way of speaking. When I say the word, "Brooklyn" I sound like I'm from there. I can't explain it. My Mom has an accent too, so we (as in my brothers and I), sounds like we are a mix of NY and accent-free speech. 

Perhaps I have the "I don't take no nonsense" attitude, which helps bring the east coast vibe to the plate. We don't tip-toe around feelings too much, yet are tactful. :) You know it be true!

2) No, I am not married. It's true! I wish I could tell you exactly why. One of the reasons? I don't feel like I need to be married to be whole or a complete person. Do I want to be married? Of course! I want a successful marriage and to have a family and I want a baby!! I lost control there for a second. Ahem, better now. It's an important choice to make and I want to go about it in a mature way. I don't care how old I am, just that I marry the right person in the right place at the right time. 

I think once I find it, i'll know. :)

What I Love to Hate

I don't have time for this and I know I shouldn't. It's like choosing between a carrot and french fries. No one really craves carrots (unless you eat too many french fries--you know you've been there, don't lie, this is a safe place). All I'm saying is that I don't have time to be blogging and need to finish some home work but, alas, it's happening. Can you see the words?

Since I was a kid my Dad always told me that I should be a critic. I think he meant a movie critic, but maybe just about life. I wish i could get paid for my amazing opinion. If you are looking for someone to analyze your life, I am currently available and can send you my resume. Or, just hire me. I'm a good worker, you shall see. :)

So, I see things that I just don't like. I am not TRYING to judge. It just comes naturally. Call it a gift. It's not so much me judging but perhaps more of me wanting curtosy from those with whom I co-habitate this lovely sphere of a world in which we live. I am constantly out of my home and am always finding myself in situations that cause these opinions below:





In no specific order:

1. FLUSH THE TOILET when you drop a bomb in a public bathroom

Going into a public bathroom and the person in the stall directly next to mine (or just being in the bathroom counts but somehow I find myself NEXT the person) wants count to the number 2 and leave that number in the stall and doesn't bother to FLUSH until my nose hairs are burnt off and I want to throw up. Please, for the sake of all mankind or me, a woman of the species, just flush right when it hits the water. I don't know how many times I have had to hold my tongue from saying, "If you're going to poop can you at least flush?" It's okay to flush before you are finished. Just get the smell out of here. I don't want to inhale YOUR deathly odors. 

*sorry for those of you who don't talk about these things...someone's gotta do it*

2. If you hit me by accident I forgive you but would like you more if you said the magic word--"I'm SORRY" .

I get it--places to go, people to see. Trust me, I know. But, let's not forget, it's okay to excuse yourself from your imperfect ways. It's just proper to apologize for hitting someone with your backpack or your arm or you didn't see where you were going. Just acknowledge it and be done with it. You'll feel so much better after. Yay. 

TO BE CONTINUED...

"You look Freakin' Porta Rican"

December 12, 2012

Characters involved:

myself= the "porta rican"
my Father= the New Yorker
my Mom= the innocent Peruvian


Jennifer Lopez, Ricky Martin, Luis Fonse, Marc Anthony...I'd like to think that all of these beautiful Puerto Rican people are attractive. I mean, I should know. Before Ricky Martin came out of the metaphorical closet I seriously wanted to marry the man (the irony of my life). So, when my Dad and I had this conversation, you can imagine my confusion. You see, if you THINK my Dad is giving you a compliment...you might want to re-evaluate the sentence structure of the statement. Nothing comes that easy with a guy from New York.

To give you a taste of my youth, this is a compliment from my Father from when I was probably 19.

     "Diana, you're a pretty girl,"   LONG PAUSE...You would want to take that as a compliment, wouldn't you? Well, here comes the rest...

     "...don't talk." -_____-

He thought pretty highly of himself, but, in case you didn't get it he basically told me I'm pretty but stupid.

HAHA o.o

So, it's not true---OBVIOIUSLY, excpet the positive part ;) but, you see, you can't trust what the seems like a compliment! EVER (take that as a lesson for future reference).


This was the run down of our conversation on this lovely twelvth of December. I had just bought a new shade of RED lipstick and was wearing my favorite red pants....(to any Puerto Rican readers...please understand the history behind it)

red lips

Me: "Hi, Pops."

Dad: "What's that you got on"

Me: "I got it today, do you like it?"

Dad: "You look Porta' Rican."

Me: "What? But I'm more Peruvian than Puerto Rican."

Dad:" You look freakin' Porta Rican, take it off!"

Me: (confused if looking "Porta Rican" was a good or bad thing...I personally always thought Puerto Ricans were good looking.)
         But Dad, it's a trend now, it's not out of the ordinary."

Dad: (looking at my Mom) You would let her out of the house like that?

Mom: I think she looks nice

Dad: I cannot believe you would let her out of the house like that, (looking back at me and his voice getting louder--)You know what, you're not allowed to wear dat lipstick in da house, go take it awf!!

Me: Seriously, Dad? Okay, I just won't look at you while I wear it...and I got up and went to the bathroom...where I heard him whisper to my Mom that I look like...

what my Dad saw in Brooklyn growing up:

all the Puerto Rican girls who wore that red lipstick that us gals love so much is what all the Prostitutues wore. So, the one day my Dad speaks up against anything I wear is because I remind him of a prostitue. I will full-heartedly take that as love. The color of crimson RED. Haha. Thanks for lookin' out for me Pops. I still wear it but he doesn't know about it. Thank goodness not everyone associates red lipstick with that, only if you're from New York, I guess!